VIRTUE ETHICS
A Tapestry of Faith Program for Youth
WORKSHOP 7: COMPASSION
BY JESSICA YORK JUDITH A. FREDIANI, DEVELOPMENTAL EDITOR
© Copyright 2012 Unitarian Universalist Association.
Published to the Web on 9/29/2014 8:37:16 PM PST.
This program and additional resources are available on the UUA.org web site at
www.uua.org/religiouseducation/curricula/tapestryfaith.
WORKSHOP OVERVIEW
INTRODUCTION
One's life has value so long as one attributes value to the life of others, by means of love, friendship, indignation and compassion. — Simone de Beauvoir
This workshop brings scientific information, religious exploration, and, of course, opportunities for youth to share from their personal experiences with the virtue of compassion. When it comes to compassion, knowing where to draw the line can be difficult. Be sure to include the workshop's questions about balance.
Several activities can be enriched with resources available on the Internet. A computer with Internet access will prove useful, even if you do not have a large monitor for viewing.
Note: Activity 5, Dilemma offers three scenarios, and one involves the death of a pet. If someone in the group has recently experienced the death of a pet, you may wish to use an alternate scenario.
GOALS
This workshop will:
LEARNING OBJECTIVES
Participants will:
WORKSHOP-AT-A-GLANCE
Activity | Minutes |
Opening | 10 |
Activity 1: Mirror Neurons | 10 |
Activity 2: Ideal vs. Reality | 10 |
Activity 3: Story — The Prodigal Son | 15 |
Activity 4: Compassion and Religion | 15 |
Activity 5: Dilemma | 15 |
Activity 6: Practice | 10 |
Faith in Action: Everyday Compassion | 30 |
Closing | 5 |
Alternate Activity 1: Real Life Challenges | |
Alternate Activity 2: Compassionate Heroes | 20 |
Alternate Activity 3: Compassion as a Spiritual Practice | 20 |
SPIRITUAL PREPARATION
Spend a few moments with Handout 1, Prayer for Compassion by Reverend Elizabeth L. Tarbox. Consider how compassion is, or could be, a spiritual practice in your life.
WORKSHOP PLAN
OPENING (10 MINUTES)
Materials for Activity
Preparation for Activity
Description of Activity
Invite a volunteer to light the chalice while you lead the group to recite the chalice lighting words:
The thought manifests as the word
The word manifests as the deed;
The deed develops into habit;
And habit hardens into character;
So watch the thought and its ways with care,
And let it spring from love
Born out of concern for all beings...
As the shadow follows the body,
As we think, so we become.
— from the Dhammapada, Sayings of the Buddha
Invite the youth to check in by sharing any moral challenges they have experienced since the last meeting. If appropriate, use Alternate Activity 1 to further explore the group's challenges. If youth appear interested in discussing a particular challenge but you feel there is not enough time in this meeting, ask the person who shared it to write a short description of the challenge on the Bicycle Rack.
Tell participants that today you will talk about compassion.
ACTIVITY 1: MIRROR NEURONS (10 MINUTES)
Materials for Activity
Preparation for Activity
Description of Activity
Share the following:
Have you ever seen a competitive ice skater miss a move and fall on the ice? Did you say, “Ouch?” If so, your brain was probably using mirror neurons.
Mirror neurons are brain cells that specialize in carrying out and understanding not just the actions of others, but also their intentions—the social meaning of their behavior and their emotions.
Scientist first discovered the work of mirror neurons almost twenty years ago, while monitoring the brain functions of monkeys. They discovered that certain regions of the brain were active when monkeys ate peanuts. Then, much to their surprise, they discovered that the same regions of the brain were active when the monkeys watched a lab assistant eat a peanut. The regions were also active when monkeys simply heard someone open a peanut.
We now know that mirror neurons in humans are even more developed and flexible than in monkeys. This makes sense because human society is extremely dependent on each of us understanding and engaging with not only the actions of other members of society, but also the reasons and emotions behind actions. Mirror neurons help explain how human beings learn, why people enjoy watching certain sports or forms of art, why exposure to violent media may be harmful, and why some people enjoy pornography.
Scientists are still researching how these complex brain cells work. But we know that the same cells in your brain are activated when you kick a ball, when you watch someone else kick a ball, or when you say “kick the ball.” Not only do these cells let you understand that you are watching someone kick a ball, but you also understand that the person wants a good kick. If someone playing kickball gets out and expresses disappointment, you, too, feel the disappointment. Your previous experience with kickball has created a template in your head that you reference every time you play kickball, watch kickball or even hear a story about kickball. How fascinating is that!
If you have Internet access, watch the PBS segment on mirror neurons.
Discuss implications of this research:
ACTIVITY 2: IDEAL VS. REALITY (10 MINUTES)
Materials for Activity
Preparation for Activity
Description of Activity
Participants identify positive and negative aspects of the day’s virtue.
Ask the group to define “compassion.” Choose a volunteer to take notes on newsprint. Share the definition from the Dictionary.com website: “a feeling of deep sympathy and sorrow for another who is stricken by misfortune, accompanied by a strong desire to alleviate the suffering.” Offer:
Sometimes people distinguish “sympathy” from “compassion” by saying sympathy is feeling sorry for someone, but compassion means you feel their pain and want to alleviate it. Like the definition, most people link compassion with action: Feeling bad is not compassion, you also want to try to end the other’s pain and suffering.
Remind the group that the ancient Greek philosophers believed true happiness resulted when something fulfills its true purpose. They believed the true purpose of a human being is to survive, thrive, and form meaningful relationships. How will living a life of compassion help you do that?
Point out that compassion is central to many religions, including Buddhism, Confucianism, and Christianity; acts of lovingkindness are commanded in Judaism. Why do religions lift this virtue up?
Invite the group to play “Ideal versus Reality.” Explain that one person will take center stage and state an ideal associated with today’s virtue, compassion. Then the floor is open, and anyone can take center stage and state a reality that conflicts with the ideal. For example, an ideal related to compassion is “We should all feel compassion for all living things.” A reality might be “We are animals that consume other living material to live.”
More examples:
After the game, invite participants to share other questions or thoughts about compassion. You can prompt with these questions:
ACTIVITY 3: STORY – THE PRODIGAL SON (15 MINUTES)
Materials for Activity
Preparation for Activity
Description of Activity
Youth apply the virtue of compassion to a biblical story.
Tell or read the story.
If you have time, invite youth to act out the story, with as much melodrama as they wish.
Lead a discussion:
ACTIVITY 4: COMPASSION AND RELIGION (15 MINUTES)
Materials for Activity
Preparation for Activity
Description of Activity
Participants identify the theme of compassion in different religions.
Invite the group to match quotes with the people who said them. If your group has fewer than 12 youth, they can do it as a group. If larger, invite the group into three teams, each with one set of quotes. Give the group four minutes.
The matching may be difficult. Afterward, process with the following questions:
Introduce Leader Resource 2, Charter for Compassion. Ask volunteers to read. Share that the Charter for Compassion was started by Karen Armstrong, an ex-nun and a best-selling writer about world religions. Though the idea was Armstrong's, the actual document was written by a group. The call for the charter was posted on the Internet and over the next six weeks, more than 150,000 people from 180 countries and many religions and philosophies contributed words.
If you have Internet access, visit the charter's website (at www.charterforcompassion.org). You can watch a short video about the charter online. Invite youth to affirm the charter.
ACTIVITY 5: DILEMMA (15 MINUTES)
Materials for Activity
Preparation for Activity
Description of Activity
Youth discuss scenarios involving ethical dilemmas.
Seek a volunteer to read one of the dilemmas. Open the floor for reactions and answers. Ask participants if this reminds them of other dilemmas they have encountered or heard of, real or fictional.
Have another volunteer read the next dilemma.
For each dilemma, ask "How could compassion play a part in this dilemma?"
Variation
Form small groups and assign each group a dilemma to discuss. Give groups five minutes, then re-gather the large group and have small groups briefly report on their discussions.
ACTIVITY 6: PRACTICE (10 MINUTES)
Materials for Activity
Preparation for Activity
Description of Activity
Participants understand how the use of compassion affects their lives.
Invite youth to take five minutes to journal, using the questions on newsprint as prompts, or to draw or meditate on the questions.
Additional prompts you may add, while the group journals:
After five minutes, ask participants to stop. Invite volunteers to share journal writing, to their level of comfort. When sharing is complete or after five minutes, distribute participants' clipboards, new beads (one per youth), and decorating materials. Invite youth to take the next five minutes to decorate a bead while reflecting on their personal experiences with compassion. Remind the youth that the beads will remind them to use their highest values.
As participants finish, have them add this bead to the anklet they started in Workshop 1.
If any participant missed Workshop 1, provide them with a clipboard, hemp, a bead for their name bead, and instruction to begin their anklet.
Collect journals, clipboards, and anklet-making materials, and store for the next workshop.
CLOSING (5 MINUTES)
Materials for Activity
Preparation for Activity
Description of Activity
Have a volunteer read the quotation while another extinguishes the chalice:
Love is that condition in the human spirit so profound that it allows me to survive, and better than that, to thrive with passion, compassion, and style. — Maya Angelou, novelist and poet
Distribute Taking It Home.
FAITH IN ACTION: EVERYDAY COMPASSION (30 MINUTES)
Materials for Activity
Preparation for Activity
Description of Activity
This activity picks up where Activity 4, Compassion and Religion leaves off. Youth further explore and then (optional) participate in the Charter for Compassion online project.
Watch the video where Karen Armstrong first introduced the concept of the Charter of Compassion on the TED (Technology, Entertainment, Design) website.
Visit the Charter for Compassion's website. Read some of the stories. Note that not all describe major events; many share small kindnesses, everyday acts of compassion the youth might find opportunities to emulate. Do participants have stories to share? Help youth post their stories.
Read some of the commitments on the website. Again, these are small, individual acts. Encourage youth to make specific commitments. Perhaps they pledge to act more compassionately to their siblings, spend more time playing with or walking a pet, or sit at lunch with a youth who always sits alone. Invite participants to post their commitments on the website. Ask how they will hold themselves accountable for keeping their commitments. Perhaps a reminder could be posted on the wall of your meeting space. You do not need to list the specific commitments. It could simply say, "Were you compassionate today?"
LEADER REFLECTION AND PLANNING
Reflect on the workshop with your co-leader. Which activities did the group enjoy most? Were varied learning styles addressed? Are the group dynamics taking shape in a healthy way, or are there issues you should address? Read the next workshop for any advance preparation needed and decide who will be responsible for what.
TAKING IT HOME
One's life has value so long as one attributes value to the life of others, by means of love, friendship, indignation and compassion. — Simone de Beauvoir
IN TODAY'S WORKSHOP... we talked about the virtue of compassion and ways to make compassion a spiritual practice.
More Stories about Compassion. Read "Making It Through (at www.uuworld.org/spirit/articles/174504.shtml?utm_source=n)," a story in UU World, by Unitarian Universalist minister and author Meg Barnhouse, about finding compassion in unique places.
Read Twelve Steps to a Compassionate Life by Karen Armstrong (New York: Knopf Doubleday, 2010). Your public library may have a copy. Write down the steps Armstrong suggests. Choose some of the concrete actions she mentions that might help you become a more compassionate person.
Nickelodeon television's Halo Awards (at www.teennick.com/shows/halo-awards/) honor youth making a difference in the world. On the website, you can nominate youth or watch videos of past winners.
Compassion does not sound like a very controversial topic, does it? Yet there are hot issues. Animal rights is one. Another is assisted suicide. Some people believe terminally ill patients should be able to decide for themselves when to end their lives. They want them to have a humane choice, such as medically assisted suicide, that would assure a painless death. The 2009 movie You Don't Know Jack (directed by Barry Levinson) is about the true-life, radical crusade of Dr. Jack Kevorkian for this cause.
Prodigal Son. Horror writer Dean Koontz wrote a novel in 2009 titled Frankenstein: Prodigal Son. It is a retelling of the Mary Shelley classic, Frankenstein. Read either novel; they are about much more than the Frankenstein movies. How is Shelley's tale like the story of the prodigal son? Mary Shelley's mother, Mary Wollstonecraft (at webcache.googleusercontent.com/search?q=cache:1uPg2YEVqugJ:www25.uua.org/uuhs/duub/articles/marywollstonecraft.html+mary+wollstonecraft+shelley+uu+connections&cd=2&hl=en&ct=clnk&gl=us&client=firefox-a) attended a Unitarian congregation for a portion of her life and was a radical activist for women's rights, long before the suffragette movement.
Compassionate Games. There are many video games for those who like violence, but not many for people who embrace compassion and giving service to the world. One such game is Quest Atlantis (at atlantisremixed.org/). Play with your friends.
Show your friends the website for Charter for Compassion (at charterforcompassion.org/site/). Invite them to affirm the charter and post commitments. Make it a game by asking each other, every Monday, how they lived out their commitment. Reward each other for sweet behavior with sweet treats. You can play the game with your family, too.
ALTERNATE ACTIVITY 1: REAL LIFE CHALLENGES
Materials for Activity
Description of Activity
Youth discuss ethical challenges they have faced.
If someone shared an experience in check-in or during any workshop activities that the group would like to explore further, do so now. This could be particularly useful if an experience resonated with many participants. If several challenges are already listed on the Bicycle Rack, invite the youth to choose one to discuss. It need not be related to this workshop's topic.
You might use these questions to structure a discussion:
Affirm that is always easier to see good solutions in hindsight and that living a life according to virtues we want to nurture or values we hold dear is not always easy. We do not need to always "get it right," but we do need to keep trying.
ALTERNATE ACTIVITY 2: COMPASSIONATE HEROES (20 MINUTES)
Materials for Activity
Preparation for Activity
Description of Activity
Tell the group:
The Cable News Network (CNN) hosts a special that highlights the humanitarian work of several heroes every year. The 2010 Hero of the Year, Anuradha Koirala, rescues some of the 20,000 girls in Nepal who are abducted for or coerced into a sex trafficking ring every year.
On the CNN website (at www.cnn.com/SPECIALS/cnn.heroes/index.html), read about the heroes for the current year. Discuss:
Invite the youth to pick an organization led by one of the CNN Heroes. Make a plan to educate your congregation about the organization's work and raise funds to contribute. Suggest youth share information about the organization on their Facebook pages.
ALTERNATE ACTIVITY 3: COMPASSION AS A SPIRITUAL PRACTICE (20 MINUTES)
Materials for Activity
Preparation for Activity
Description of Activity
Youth explore making compassion a spiritual practice.
Ask the group to define "spiritual practice." Affirm that a spiritual practice is any activity done regularly to nurture one's spirituality. Brainstorm different spiritual practices: prayer, meditation, reading, nature walks, yoga, etc. Ask:
Suggest that one way is to pray or meditate on compassion not just once, but on a regular, scheduled basis. Lead the group to read the Prayer for Compassion (Handout 1) aloud together.
Tell the group that Buddhism includes meditations for "loving-kindness," which is equivalent to compassion. In Taoism, the Three Jewels of Taoism are compassion, humility, and moderation.
Distribute writing materials. Invite participants to create poems, meditations, or prayers to help them remember to practice compassion. Remind them that their anklet is also a reminder to live their highest values.
If you wish, leave time for volunteers to share.
VIRTUE ETHICS: WORKSHOP 7:
STORY: THE PRODIGAL SON
From Christian scripture, Luke 15:11-32 (New Revised Standard Version).
Then Jesus said, "There was a man who had two sons. The younger of them said to his father, 'Father, give me the share of the property that will belong to me.' So he divided his property between them. A few days later the younger son gathered all he had and travelled to a distant country, and there he squandered his property in dissolute living. When he had spent everything, a severe famine took place throughout that country, and he began to be in need. So he went and hired himself out to one of the citizens of that country, who sent him to his fields to feed the pigs. He would gladly have filled himself with the pods that the pigs were eating; and no one gave him anything. But when he came to himself he said, 'How many of my father's hired hands have bread enough and to spare, but here I am dying of hunger! I will get up and go to my father, and I will say to him, "Father, I have sinned against heaven and before you; I am no longer worthy to be called your son; treat me like one of your hired hands."' So he set off and went to his father. But while he was still far off, his father saw him and was filled with compassion; he ran and put his arms around him and kissed him. Then the son said to him, 'Father, I have sinned against heaven and before you; I am no longer worthy to be called your son.' But the father said to his slaves, 'Quickly, bring out a robe—the best one—and put it on him; put a ring on his finger and sandals on his feet. And get the fatted calf and kill it, and let us eat and celebrate; for this son of mine was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found!' And they began to celebrate.
Now his elder son was in the field; and when he came and approached the house, he heard music and dancing. He called one of the slaves and asked what was going on. He replied, 'Your brother has come, and your father has killed the fatted calf, because he has got him back safe and sound.' Then he became angry and refused to go in. His father came out and began to plead with him. But he answered his father, 'Listen! For all these years I have been working like a slave for you, and I have never disobeyed your command; yet you have never given me even a young goat so that I might celebrate with my friends. But when this son of yours came back, who has devoured your property with prostitutes, you killed the fatted calf for him!' Then the father* (at javascript:void(0);) said to him, 'Son, you are always with me, and all that is mine is yours. But we had to celebrate and rejoice, because this brother of yours was dead and has come to life; he was lost and has been found.'"
VIRTUE ETHICS: WORKSHOP 7:
HANDOUT 1: PRAYER FOR COMPASSION
By Reverend Elizabeth L. Tarbox; used with permission.
Spirit of Life, I give thanks for the opportunities to love
that present themselves in the turmoil of life.
When the light catches the tears in another's eyes,
where hands are held and there are moments without
words, let us be present then, and alive to the possibility
of changing. Let us seek to make another's wellbeing
the object of our concern. Let us seek to be
present to another's pain, to bathe another's wounds,
hear another's sadness, celebrate another's success, and
allow the other's story to change our own.
Let us stand in the morning on damp grass, hear the
syllables of bird song, and fill up on sweet air that rolls
over oceans and continents. Let us look up at the stars
and the planets that fill the night sky with majesty. Let
us witness the first fresh buds of spring amid the brown
sticks of winter. And for all this, let us be grateful.
Let us not defend ourselves against the discomfort of
unruly emotion, nor seek to close down our hearts for
fear a new love will come to shake our foundations. Let
us instead be open to discovering a new way of seeing an
old problem, or appreciating the perfection of a seashell,
or the possibility of friendship. For in giving ourselves to
what we do not understand, we receive life's blessings, and
in taking care of another, we are cared for.
VIRTUE ETHICS: WORKSHOP 7:
LEADER RESOURCE 1: WHO SAYS?
1. Wisdom, compassion, and courage are the three universally recognized moral qualities of men.
Confucius (at javascript:sndReq(19172))(Confucianism)
2. I have observed that religious practice is not a precondition either of ethical conduct or of happiness itself. I have also suggested that, whether a person practices religion or not, the spiritual qualities of love and compassion, patience, tolerance, forgiveness, humility and so on are indispensable.
Dalai Lama (at javascript:sndReq(19161))(Buddhism)
3. Christ has no body on earth but yours, no hands but yours, no feet but yours. Yours are the eyes through which Christ's compassion for the world is to look out; yours are the feet with which He is to go about doing good; and yours are the hands with which He is to bless us now.
Saint Teresa of Avila (at javascript:sndReq(19174))(Christianity)
4. It is a man's sympathy with all creatures that truly makes him a man. Until he extends his circle of compassion to all living things, man himself will not find peace.
Albert Schweitzer (at javascript:sndReq(19263))(Humanist)
5. It ill becomes us to invoke in our daily prayers the blessings of God, the Compassionate, if we in turn will not practice elementary compassion towards our fellow creatures.
Gandh (at javascript:sndReq(19165))i (Hinduism)
6. A religious man is a person who holds God and man in one thought at one time, at all times, who suffers harm done to others, whose greatest passion is compassion, whose greatest strength is love and defiance of despair.
Abraham J. Heschel (at thinkexist.com/quotes/abraham_j._heschel/)(Judaism)
7. ... we must become articulate about our belief and choose those actions which will demonstrate that we do not just talk about compassion and love and understanding, but that they are values which we incorporate into our inner frame of reference.
Dorothy Tilden Spoerl (Unitarian Universalism)
8. The whole idea of compassion is based on a keen awareness of the interdependence of all these living beings, which are all part of one another, and all involved in one another.
Thomas Merton (at javascript:sndReq(19092))(Christianity)
9. No man is a true believer unless he desireth for his brother that which he desireth for himself.
Muhammad (at javascript:sndReq(19122))(Islam)
10. In separateness lies the world's great misery, in compassion lies the world's true strength.
Buddha (at javascript:sndReq(19130))(Buddhism)
11. He who feels no compassion will become insane.
Hasidic Sayin (at javascript:sndReq(19265))g (Judaism)
12. ... Justice, equity and compassion in human relations...
Second Principle (Unitarian Universalism)
VIRTUE ETHICS: WORKSHOP 7:
LEADER RESOURCE 2: CHARTER FOR COMPASSION
Charter for Compassion, 2009; used with permission.
The principle of compassion lies at the heart of all religious, ethical and spiritual traditions, calling us always to treat all others as we wish to be treated ourselves. Compassion impels us to work tirelessly to alleviate the suffering of our fellow creatures, to dethrone ourselves from the centre of our world and put another there, and to honour the inviolable sanctity of every single human being, treating everybody, without exception, with absolute justice, equity and respect.
It is also necessary in both public and private life to refrain consistently and empathically from inflicting pain. To act or speak violently out of spite, chauvinism, or self-interest, to impoverish, exploit or deny basic rights to anybody, and to incite hatred by denigrating others—even our enemies—is a denial of our common humanity. We acknowledge that we have failed to live compassionately and that some have even increased the sum of human misery in the name of religion.
We therefore call upon all men and women to restore compassion to the centre of morality and religion — to return to the ancient principle that any interpretation of scripture that breeds violence, hatred or disdain is illegitimate — to ensure that youth are given accurate and respectful information about other traditions, religions and cultures — to encourage a positive appreciation of cultural and religious diversity - to cultivate an informed empathy with the suffering of all human beings—even those regarded as enemies.
We urgently need to make compassion a clear, luminous and dynamic force in our polarized world. Rooted in a principled determination to transcend selfishness, compassion can break down political, dogmatic, ideological and religious boundaries. Born of our deep interdependence, compassion is essential to human relationships and to a fulfilled humanity. It is the path to enlightenment, and indispensable to the creation of a just economy and a peaceful global community.
VIRTUE ETHICS: WORKSHOP 7:
LEADER RESOURCE 3: COMPASSION DILEMMAS
Dilemma 1
If a person approaches you on the street and asks for money for food, do you give them what money you can spare? Some people are afraid that the person might be addicted and will spend the money on alcohol or other drugs. Therefore, your money is feeding their addictions. Others say that if you refuse to help people, you are not practicing compassion and eventually your heart will turn cold. What other thoughts go through your mind when you encounter a panhandler? Is there a balance to giving money to everyone who asks and not giving to anyone?
Dilemma 2
Your cat is sick and you take it to the vet. The prognosis is terminal: You know your cat will die. You have the option to let your cat die naturally or to "put it down." The vet assures you euthanizing the cat will be painless and quick; you can be with your cat until the end. How do you decide? What if your cat's death may be painful and drawn out? What if your cat has kidney disease and the vet says its death may take weeks, but involve no pain; the cat will simply grow more and more tired, sleep a great deal, and eventually one day fall asleep and not wake up. Does the manner of the natural death influence your choice?
Dilemma 3
Financial donations to international service organizations give us a way to express compassion toward people we will never meet. Yet, so many organizations are seeking funds. How do you choose where to send your donation? Do the long-term problems of a marginalized segment of another country's population activate your compassion? If so, does it matter to you what kind of relationship the people's country has with the U.S.? Should you send money to help educate girls in the Middle East, or children born with cleft palates in India? Do you prefer to keep your charitable contributions closer to home? What parameters do you and your family consider when choosing from thousands of deserving charities seeking contributions?
FIND OUT MORE
The Global Oneness Foundation (at www.experiencefestival.com/compassion_-_in_religion) has compiled articles on the role of compassion in different religions.
Buddhism is well known as a religion that calls for compassion. The Dalai Lama has written a practical book on the subject, An Open Heart: Practicing Compassion in Everyday Life (New York: Back Bay Books, 2002).
On The Compassion Fatigue Awareness Project (at www.compassionfatigue.org/) website, take a test to see if you are experiencing compassion fatigue, and find resources for recovery.
"Cells That Read Minds" (at www.nytimes.com/2006/01/10/science/10mirr.html) (New York Times, Jan. 10, 2006) is an easy-to-read article on mirror neurons. "Role of Mirror Neurons May Need Rethink (at www.newscientist.com/article/dn17192-role-of-mirror-neurons-may-need-a-rethink.html)" (New Scientist, May 2009) offers a counter-argument to the prevailing understanding of mirror neurons.