WONDERFUL WELCOME
A Tapestry of Faith Program for Children
SESSION 2: THE GIFT OF COVENANT
BY AISHA HAUSER AND SUSAN LAWRENCE
© Copyright 2008 Unitarian Universalist Association.
Published to the Web on 11/8/2014 8:55:50 PM PST.
This program and additional resources are available on the UUA.org web site at
www.uua.org/religiouseducation/curricula/tapestryfaith.
SESSION OVERVIEW
INTRODUCTION
A covenant is not a definition of a relationship; it is the framework for our relating. ... This calls for a level of trust, courage and sacrifice that needs to be nurtured, renewed and affirmed on a regular basis. ... Abiding in covenant is an art form. A mutual creation.
— Rev. Lisa Ward, in a sermon, "From Creed to Covenant," delivered November 17, 2002 at the Unitarian Universalist Fellowship of Harford County ( Churchville, Maryland )
This session introduces the children to the intangible gift of covenant. Children will explore the concept of covenanting through their own real-life experiences and make a covenant to guide their time together in Wonderful Welcome.
While covenant is also important in Jewish, Christian and Muslim faiths, the covenant that Unitarian Universalists share is the one we make with one another, not with God. The children will learn that as Unitarian Universalists, they belong to a covenanted community of people and congregations make commitments to certain agreed-upon values — our seven Unitarian Universalist Principles. The story for this session describes how, in 1960, Unitarians and Universalists discussed, debated and compromised to articulate six Principles which members of both faiths could covenant together to affirm and promote as Unitarian Universalists.
It may help children understand "covenant" if you use the word interchangeably with "agreement" or "promise." In Session 3, The Gift of Forgiveness, children will have opportunities to tackle the question of what to do if someone breaks a covenant.
In Activity 5, the children make a paper chain symbolizing their experience making a covenant together. If you have time, replace Activity 5 with Alternate Activity 1, Paper Chain Covenant, in which the children decorate links in the chain not only with their names but also with the promises they have agreed to keep. In the Closing, you will wind the paper chain around the Wonder Box poster to symbolize the gift of covenant.
GOALS
This session will:
LEARNING OBJECTIVES
Participants will:
SESSION-AT-A-GLANCE
Activity | Minutes |
Opening | 5 |
Activity 1: The Wonder Box | 5 |
Activity 2: "Simon Says" without Rules | 10 |
Activity 3: Story — Making Promises, Making Covenants | 10 |
Activity 4: We Covenant Together | 10 |
Activity 5: Making a Paper Chain | 10 |
Activity 6: Singing "The More We Get Together" | 5 |
Faith in Action: Adults Covenant, Too! | varies |
Closing | 5 |
Alternate Activity 1: Paper Chain Covenant | 20 |
Alternate Activity 2: The Most Important Promise | 20 |
Alternate Activity 3: Singing Safety Songs | 10 |
SPIRITUAL PREPARATION
Think about your spiritual upbringing. Did you grow up in Unitarian Universalism? Do you have another religious background? Think about the first time you learned about a covenant. Was it in a religious context, or a setting outside your faith community? Think about how you understood the concept and what it meant to you.
Most children understand, but may not have articulated, that entering into an agreement with others is essential for playing together. As adults, we know that entering into an agreement with others allows us to function in community at work, at home, in congregational life, and at play. Reflect with appreciation on how entering into a covenant creates a safe and productive space for yourself and any community you are part of. Share this understanding and positive energy with the children today.
SESSION PLAN
OPENING (5 MINUTES)
Materials for Activity
Preparation for Activity
Description of Activity
Gather participants in a circle around the chalice. Explain that you start each session with a ritual. Ask if anyone knows what a ritual is. You may say:
A ritual is something you do again and again, often at the same time of day. If you have a routine for going to bed, that is an example of a ritual.
All around the world, Unitarian Universalists of all ages light chalices when they gather together. With this ritual, Unitarian Universalists connect with one another, even though they may never actually meet.
Now we will light the chalice, the symbol of our Unitarian Universalist faith; then say together our opening words.
Light the chalice and invite the children to repeat each line of the opening words, line by line.
We are Unitarian Universalists.
With minds that think,
Hearts that love,
And hands that are ready to serve.
Together we care for our Earth,
And work for friendship and peace in our world.
Extinguish the chalice.
ACTIVITY 1: WONDER BOX (5 MINUTES)
Materials for Activity
Preparation for Activity
Description of Activity
Use the Wonder Box to activate participants' curiosity about today's intangible gift: covenant.
With the children in a circle around the chalice, ask them to guess what could be in this big, beautifully wrapped box. Take some guesses. Then, open the box, take out the Principles and the strips of paper, and say something like:
These are the seven Unitarian Universalist Principles and paper that can be made to form a chain. Does anyone have an idea of what today's session will be about?
Invite responses. The children may suggest that the discussion will be about our seven Principles; gently redirect this answer. Say something like:
A covenant is when people make promises to each other. Keeping their promises holds people together as a family, or as friends, or as people together in a Unitarian Universalist congregation. Being in covenant is an intangible gift that we share with the others in our faith community. One way you can see a covenant is when people write down the promises they make.
Hold up the seven Principles, and say:
These seven Principles are ideas we promise to care about, because, as Unitarian Universalists, we are part of a covenant.
Roll two strips of colored paper into circles and hold them up, interlinked. Then say:
Another way you can see a covenant is all around you. When you are in a group of people and you notice that people are playing together or learning together, being safe, being fair to one another, and having fun, the gift of covenant is probably being quietly exchanged. Here in Wonderful Welcome, we will make a covenant today. We will make some promises to one another, so we can work together and support each other and the Seven Principles.
ACTIVITY 2: "SIMON SAYS" WITHOUT RULES (10 MINUTES)
Preparation for Activity
Description of Activity
By playing a game they already know, the children experience how a covenant works in an everyday situation.
Gather children to play the game, "Simon Says." Point out to the group that most of them seem to know how to play the game. Explain the rules in case some children do not know them: One player is "Simon." Simon calls out movements for the other players to do. If Simon's directions begin with "Simon says... " the players should do as Simon says. If Simon neglects to say "Simon says" — for example, if Simon says only "Raise your arms over your head" — any player who follows the direction is out. The last successful player becomes Simon in the next round.
Play for a few minutes. Then, stop the game. Say,
That went really well. It seemed like everyone agreed to play by the rules. What would have happened if I was trying to be Simon, and everyone ran around in circles or did the opposite of what Simon said?
Invite responses.
Variation
If you are comfortable, while the game is underway, join in as if you do not know any of the rules. (For example, if you are called out, jump back in.) This way, you help illustrate the disruption to a community that can occur when members break a covenant — in this case, the rules of a simple game. Children may comment that you do not know the rules or are not "playing fair." Allow their comments. Then, step out of the game and let the group resume play.
Including All Participants
Be mindful of individual participants' mobility issues. As "Simon," make sure the directions you give can be followed by all children.
ACTIVITY 3: STORY — MAKING PROMISES, MAKING COVENANTS (10 MINUTES)
Materials for Activity
Preparation for Activity
Description of Activity
Invite the children to get comfortable for listening to a story. Tell the story.
ACTIVITY 4: WE COVENANT TOGETHER (10 MINUTES)
Materials for Activity
Preparation for Activity
Description of Activity
The children will make a group covenant, demonstrating how they can share the intangible gift of covenant with one another. Help them create a safe space by making behavioral agreements that result in a place where everyone is welcome and knows what behaviors are accepted.
Gather the children in a circle. Explain that they will give one another the intangible gift of covenant. Ask them how they think they can give and receive this gift. Invite responses. Then say:
We are going to work together to think of some promises we can make to one another. These promises will be our group covenant every time we are together.
We come to Wonderful Welcome to learn about our Unitarian Universalist faith and how we are part of it. We are also here to have fun. What do we need in our group, to learn and have fun together?
If the children do not identify the following two conditions that foster everyone's learning and fun, mention them:
Explain that they will now make their own covenant. You might say:
We have talked about the covenant which Unitarians and Universalists made when they joined two religions together. And we have talked about how covenants help us play games together. Now we will make a covenant with each other. We will make some rules we can all agree with, some promises about how we will behave when we are together in Wonderful Welcome.
Allow children to contribute their ideas and record all ideas on newsprint. As the leader, you are also part of the group. You will be adding to the agreement as well. For example, children may say things like, "No hitting," and "No punching." You may also add, "Listen to the leaders." Children may ask, "What happens if someone breaks the covenant?" Ask them what they think should happen. You might say:
If someone does break our covenant, we will stop what we are doing and review our covenant. We will talk again about what the covenant is and why we have it.
If you plan to do Session 3, Forgiveness, tell the children they will have a chance to talk more about consequences at another meeting.
Ask the children if they think the group should review the covenant each time they meet. Where should the covenant be posted?
Including All Participants
Speak with your religious educator before this session if you think there may be children with special needs or behavior issues that may make it hard for them to understand and/or keep a group covenant. Work with staff to have a strategy for successfully including all participants, for example, enlisting a youth or adult helper assigned to a child who needs help.
ACTIVITY 5: MAKING A PAPER CHAIN (10 MINUTES)
Materials for Activity
Preparation for Activity
Description of Activity
Distribute paper strips and markers at work tables. Invite children to write their names on strips of paper. When they have finished, show them how to form a circle by attaching the ends of the strip of paper. Tape your circle closed to make the first link of a paper chain. Invite each child to add their link to the chain to make it grow. As each child adds their link, ask them to repeat after you:
I agree to follow the covenant, the promises we have made.
After each child has added to the chain, say:
We have made a covenant together and we all agree to do our best to keep it.
Allow the children to add more links to the paper chain.
Including All Participants
Writing skills can vary widely in this age group. Some children may need help writing their names. It is also okay if some prefer to write their initials or draw a picture instead of writing their names.
ACTIVITY 6: SINGING "THE MORE WE GET TOGETHER" (5 MINUTES)
Materials for Activity
Preparation for Activity
Description of Activity
Teach and lead the song. When you are done singing, tell the children that singing together also needs a covenant. Guide them to talk about the promises we make and keep when we sing with others. Tell them how nice their singing sounded!
CLOSING (5 MINUTES)
Materials for Activity
Preparation for Activity
Description of Activity
Gather the children in a circle. Show them the Wonder Box poster and explain that it looks like the Wonder Box because it is another place where we remind ourselves about our intangible gifts. Invite two volunteers to tape or glue the paper chain around the edge of the poster. You may say something like:
What if we tried to play a game without agreeing about the rules of the game? What would the game be like? What if the game kickball was played without any teams, or bases? How would you know if you were supposed to be a pitcher, a kicker or a fielder, or even how to play? How could anyone get points or win the game?
Allow some comments. Affirm:
When we agree on which rules to play by, then we are in covenant, and we can play fair, play safely and have fun. Being in covenant with others is an intangible gift we give and receive.
Tell the children you are happy and thankful you all could be together this morning. You may say:
Giving thanks for being together is a way to thank one another for sharing the intangible gift of covenant with us. Because we are in covenant together, we agree on how to be when we are here so we can all be safe, learn, and have fun. Let's say our closing words of gratitude together.
Invite the children to hold hands. Show them where you have posted the closing words. Ask them to say each line with you, and say the lines slowly:
We are thankful.
We are thankful to be here.
We are thankful to be here, together.
We are thankful to be here, together, now.
Then ask one child to very gently squeeze the hand of the person to their left, and have that person continue to pass the squeeze until the squeeze has returned to the person who started it. Tell the person who started the squeeze to signal that it has returned to them by raising their arms, still holding hands with the people on either side. When this happens, instruct everyone to raise their clasped hands, together. If you like, suggest a word for them to say at this moment, like "Good-bye!" or "Shalom," or the name of this session's intangible gift — covenant!.
Extinguish the chalice. Distribute copies of Taking It Home. Thank and dismiss participants.
FAITH IN ACTION: ADULTS COVENANT, TOO!
Preparation for Activity
Description of Activity
Children who understand covenanting in terms of safety and learning and playing together can gain a deeper understanding of covenant when they hear why adults need covenants, too.
Prepare the children by eliciting their questions about what kinds of covenants adults make with one another or with children. Prompt them by suggesting contexts such as family, work, congregational life or sports where adults are in community.
When visitors arrive, guide a conversation to explore your congregational covenant — how it was made, why it is important. If your congregation does not have a covenant, facilitate conversation about the Unitarian Universalist Principles. Adults may also like to talk about their personal experiences with covenanting.
LEADER REFLECTION AND PLANNING
Reflect on these questions and discuss them with your co-leaders:
TAKING IT HOME
A covenant is not a definition of a relationship; it is the framework for our relating. ... This calls for a level of trust, courage and sacrifice that needs to be nurtured, renewed and affirmed on a regular basis. ... Abiding in covenant is an art form. A mutual creation.
— Rev. Lisa Ward, in a sermon, "From Creed to Covenant," delivered November 17, 2002 at the Unitarian Universalist Fellowship of Harford County ( Churchville, Maryland )
IN TODAY'S SESSION... The children explored the intangible gift of covenant. They learned how covenants are made in various contexts such as on the playground, in their school classrooms, and in the larger Unitarian Universalist faith community, and they made a covenant for how they want to be together in Wonderful Welcome.
EXPLORE THE TOPIC TOGETHER . Talk about ...
Whether or not you have articulated them, a variety of promises form the basis of your family relationships. Give some thought to the covenants that already exist in your family. By accepting the responsibility to parent your child, you have made a set of deep promises that you act on every day. Beyond feeding, clothing and sheltering your child, the love, protection and guidance you provide are fulfillments of a covenant.
Take the time to identify for yourself, and share with your child(ren), the covenants that support the relationships in your family. What promises do children make? What promises do adults make? Engage your child(ren) in exploring how your family's covenants are a "two-way street." Your child can understand that love, for example, goes both ways.
This may be an opportunity to develop together some covenant rules just for your family. For example, if you set aside times, such as a family meal, when you do not answer the phone or have a television on, engage your child as a willing participant in this agreement. Together, you will covenant to treat that time in a special way, so that nothing outside interferes with your time together.
FAMILY DISCOVERY
It is likely that your family's values and practices mirror some if not all the Unitarian Universalist covenant expressed in the seven Principles of our faith. How do individual members of your family keep the covenant of Unitarian Universalism? If you do not have a copy of the seven UU Principles (at www.uua.org/visitors/6798.shtml), you can find them online.
A FAMILY GAME
A FAMILY RITUAL
You may like to express your family's covenant or your Unitarian Universalist faith by taking a moment before shared meals for prayer or thanksgiving, and/or the lighting of a chalice or candles. One source of simple prayers for UU families is the UUA pamphlet, Family Prayers: a Sampler, available online at uua.org or for purchase through the UUA Bookstore,
ALTERNATE ACTIVITY 1: PAPER CHAIN COVENANT (20 MINUTES)
Materials for Activity
Preparation for Activity
Description of Activity
Distribute paper strips and markers at work tables. Invite each child to take several strips of paper. Ask children to write their names on strips of paper. Ask for volunteers to use additional strips to write key words of the promises the group generated in Activity 4, We Covenant Together. Children who choose not to write can draw symbols and decorate more strips of paper for the chain.
When the strips are done, show the children how to form a circle by attaching both ends of a strip of paper together. Tape your circle closed to make the first link of a paper chain. Invite each child to add a link to the chain to make it grow. As each child adds the link with their name on it, ask them to repeat after you:
I agree to follow the covenant, the promises we have made.
After each child has added one link to the chain, say:
We have made a covenant together and we all agree to do our best to keep it.
Have the children add the remaining links to the chain.
Including All Participants
Writing skills can vary widely in this age group. Some children may need help writing their names. Ask for volunteers to write key words of the covenant; do not assign anyone a task that may be too hard. Make sure children know it is okay to write their initials or draw a picture instead of writing their names.
ALTERNATE ACTIVITY 2: THE MOST IMPORTANT PROMISE (10 MINUTES)
Materials for Activity
Preparation for Activity
Description of Activity
This activity engages the group in why we make promises to each other.
Review the covenant with the group. Ask which promise they think is the most important and why. As the leader, you can volunteer the promise you think is the most important and why. It would illustrate the point best if you chose a promise that had to do with the group's safety.
Optional: Distribute paper and markers or crayons and invite the children to copy and/or illustrate the promise they think is the most important. Make sure they know there is no right or wrong choice — all the promises the group generated are important. Invite participants to explain why they chose their promise as the most important.
ALTERNATE ACTIVITY 3: SINGING SAFETY SONGS (10 MINUTES)
Materials for Activity
? Newsprint, markers and tape
Preparation for Activity
Description of Activity
People make covenants to express respect and care for one another. This activity uses a safety theme and the opportunity to sing together to reinforce the message that the promises of a covenant help our whole group stay safe and work and play well together.
Gather the children to sing. Tell them:
Sometimes a song can help us remember the promises we make to others. Do you know any songs like that? Songs that are easy to remember, where the words are about how we can stay safe, or how we agree to treat other people when we are playing together, in school together, at home or here at church?
Allow some suggestions; some children may offer to sing a song they know. You may want to lead the group in singing one of their contributions. Or, lead the children in singing one or more safety songs you have prepared.
WONDERFUL WELCOME: SESSION 2:
STORY: MAKING PROMISES, MAKING COVENANTS
By Janeen K. Grohsmeyer.
Do you remember your first day of school? I remember mine. Your parents and grandparents probably remember their first days, too. Probably everyone remembers, no matter how long ago it was.
Going to a new place and starting something new can be exciting... and sometimes a little scary. We have a lot of questions:
"Where do I sit?"
"What time do we eat?"
"Where is the bathroom?"
"Am I allowed to climb the trees?"
"Does the teacher expect me to do homework?"
And, of course, "When can we go outside to play?"
At school, the teacher shows us where things are and explains how things work. She tells us the rules. Once we know what we are expected to do and what we are allowed to do, it's not so scary anymore.
Sometimes, though, there is no teacher. On the playground, it's just kids. Sometimes we make up our own game, and we decide how it ought to be played. Sometimes we make the rules.
On the jungle gym, we can decide that the red bars are fire and you can't touch them when you climb. When we play tag, we can decide that the person who is It has to count to ten before they start chasing everybody else. It can be a lot of fun to make up the rules to your very own game. You get to make it just the way you like it.
That is, if the other kids agree. But, what if you think the red bars on the jungle gym are fire and can't be touched, but another kid says that the red bars are fine and you can touch them however you want?
There are a lot of different ways to play a game. And if you don't want to play all by yourself (and you can't play tag by yourself), then everybody has to agree on what the rules are while you are playing. Maybe you can keep all the rules. Or maybe you can change some.
Some how, some way, after discussing and changing and arguing and compromising, everybody agrees on what the rules should be. Maybe you don't like one of the other kids' rules all that much, and maybe someone else doesn't like your rules all that much, but you both agree to them anyway because you got some rules you liked and so did the other person. Then, finally, everyone promises to each other to follow the rules, with no cheating, and we can play the game.
When we agree to follow the rules we make together, we are covenanting with each other. A covenant is a promise to each other about what we are going to do, and how we are going to behave. We need a covenant to have fun playing a game.
Covenants are not only for the playground. They can be made by people in families and by students and teachers in schools. They can be made in religions too. Our Unitarian Universalist religion has a covenant.
Our UU Covenant was made about 50 years ago, when your parents and grandparents were young. Back then, there weren't any Unitarian Universalists. There were Unitarians and there were Universalists. Two different religions, with different names, different buildings, different songs... different rules.
The Unitarians and the Universalists had been talking to each other for a very long time. Even though they had different rules for how they did things, they realized they agreed on many important ideas, many principles of life. Just like the kids on the playground, they had different rules, but they wanted to play the same game.
In 1960, they decided to play together. They knew they had to figure out new rules that all the Unitarians and all the Universalists would agree to follow.
It took them almost a year. After discussing and changing and arguing and compromising for months and months, the Unitarians and the Universalists from hundreds of different congregations agreed on six Principles — six rules — that they all could agree to follow. It's true that one person might not have liked another person's ideas for rules all that much and maybe that person didn't like the first person's rules all that much. But they agreed to follow them anyway, because they knew they both got a lot of the rules they wanted. And they got to play together.
They compromised.
And then they covenanted.
They decided to "play the same game."
Twenty-five years later, in 1985, they added one more Principle, to make it seven. You may already have heard of the seven Principles. These are the rules that Unitarian Universalists agree to follow:
1. Each person is important.
2. Be kind in all you do.
3. We're free to learn together.
4. We search for what is true.
5. All people need a voice.
6. Build a fair and peaceful world.
7. We care for Earth's lifeboat.
Today we will make a covenant with each other, here in Wonderful Welcome. We will work out rules for the times when we are together. We may have to make some compromises, in order to get most of the rules we want.
When we promise to each other to follow the rules we make, we are covenanting with each other. Just like the kids on the playground playing tag. Just like the Unitarians and Universalists did 50 years ago.
FIND OUT MORE
The quotation that begins this session comes from "From Creed to Covenant," a sermon given by Rev. Lisa Ward on November 17, 2002 at the Unitarian Universalist Fellowship of Harford County (Churchville, Maryland). From Creed to Covenant: Roots of Unitarian Universalism
There are a few different versions of the seven Unitarian Universalist Principles for children. The UUA Bookstore sells stickers as well as the colorful fold-out, My 7 Principles: A Child's Booklet (at www.uuabookstore.org/productdetails.cfm?PC=680), using this wording:
1. Each person is important.
2. Be kind in all you do.
3. We're free to learn together.
4. We search for what is true.
5. All people need a voice.
6. Build a fair and peaceful world.
7. We care for Earth's lifeboat.
History of the UU Covenant
There are several accounts of how the Unitarians and Universalists developed a set of Principles in 1960 and covenanted to affirm and promote them as a unified religious denomination. One is The Premise and the Promise: The Story of the Unitarian Universalist Association by Warren G. Ross.