MORAL TALES
A Tapestry of Faith Program for Children
SESSION 4: IN ANOTHER'S SHOES
BY ALICE ANACHECKA-NASEMAN AND ELISA PEARMAIN
© Copyright 2010 Unitarian Universalist Association.
Published to the Web on 11/8/2014 5:02:37 PM PST.
This program and additional resources are available on the UUA.org web site at
www.uua.org/religiouseducation/curricula/tapestryfaith.
SESSION OVERVIEW
INTRODUCTION
The first duty of love is to listen. — Paul Tillich
To explore the experience of empathy is to understand more deeply the first Unitarian Universalist principle: the inherent worth and dignity of all people (and all beings.) The Merriam-Webster online dictionary's definition of "empathy" (at www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/empathy) includes "the action of understanding, being aware of, being sensitive to, and vicariously experiencing the feelings, thoughts, and experience of another." Empathy is the necessary action behind love, forgiveness, compassion and caring, and the driving forces of most good works in our world. Cures for disease, laws protecting the vulnerable, charitable contributions and even wars fought to end brutality, are examples of the results of empathy.
This session introduces empathy as a tool for discerning good and just action. It also guides children to recognize and respect multiple perspectives, and to understand that any given scenario can have multiple truths.
In this session the children will hear a Scottish folk tale about a seal hunter who wounds a seal and then is given a chance to experience this wounding from the seal's perspective. Following the story the children will have further opportunities to look at situations from multiple perspectives. They will also participate in an exercise of empathetic listening with their peers to learn one of the basic skills of empathy that can be practiced on a daily basis. As Kevin Ryan and Karen Bohlin wrote in Building Character in Schools (San Francisco: Jossey-Bass Publishers, l999), "Such experiences (as gaining empathy through hearing the stories of others) encourage students to resolve in the quiet of their hearts to stand up for the threatened and the vulnerable."
The Faith in Action component of this session offers an activity for practicing empathy, justice, and goodness by card- or letter-writing to protect seals that are being hunted now. A longer-term Faith in Action project brings an awareness and/or fundraising project to the larger congregational community. In this session, the children add "Empathy" to the Moral Compass poster.
GOALS
This session will:
LEARNING OBJECTIVES
Participants will:
SESSION-AT-A-GLANCE
Activity | Minutes |
Welcoming and Entering | 0 |
Opening | 2 |
Activity 1: Gems of Goodness | 5 |
Activity 2: Story Basket and Centering | 5 |
Activity 3: Story – The Wounded Seal | 5 |
Activity 4: Processing the Story | 5 |
Activity 5: Cooperative Musical Hoops | 10 |
Activity 6: In Your Shoes: Real Life from Multiple Perspectives | 15 |
Activity 7: Clean-Up | 2 |
Faith in Action: Protecting Seals, Advocacy– Short- term | 15 |
Closing | 3 |
Alternate Activity 1: Candles of Joys and Sorrows | 10 |
Alternate Activity 2: Story Hot Seat | 20 |
Alternate Activity 3: My Partner's Shoes | 3 |
Alternate Activity 4: Empathetic Listening | 10 |
SPIRITUAL PREPARATION
To prepare yourself spiritually for this session you may find it helpful to take a few moments to experience empathy in an adaptation of a Tibetan Buddhist meditation called Tonglin. The essence of Tonglin, in the words of meditation teacher Andrew Weiss (at innerself.com/meditation), is "to breathe in the suffering of another person and to breathe out loving-kindness, compassion, and healing."
Find a place where you can sit quietly and comfortably and where you will not be disturbed. Take a few moments to breathe deeply, relaxing your face, shoulders and back, and wherever else you notice tension. Tune in to the rhythm of your breath as it flows in and out for several minutes. Identify an emotion that you are feeling, or a state of mind or body that you have been in today, or a problem that is concerning you. From a centered and kind place, breathe with that experience. Send yourself a wish for peace, or healing, or whatever you feel you need: "May I be healthy and at peace."
Then try to expand your awareness. Imagine how many of the six billion plus people on the planet might be feeling or experiencing exactly what you are, right now. Imagine who they are, all over the world in all kinds of circumstances. Join with them. Breathe in their feelings, and breathe out healing and compassion.
You may wish to say, "May all of these beings be safe and at peace." If you like you may end the meditation here, or you may continue to imagine people in circumstances that you are not experiencing, such as sickness, or poverty, or war, and join with them, breathing in the suffering that they are experiencing and breathing out healing and compassion for them.
You may wish to end the meditation by sending a prayer for peace and healing for all beings, and joining with them by saying, "May all beings be healthy and at peace." The Tonglin meditation can help us to experience how connected we are to others and that in our suffering and in our compassion we are joined.
You may also wish to read through the story, "The Wounded Seal," several times. Imagine that you are the Seal Hunter, rowing in his boat, eating his dinner. Try to feel compassion for this man who is doing what his ancestors having been doing for many generations. Then you may wish to step into the shoes of the large grey seal that is stabbed, and his family members that huddle around him, worried for his life. You may wish to ponder that the seals chose to teach the Seal Hunter rather than seek revenge against him.
Finally, you may wish to think about ways in which you practice empathy, and times it has helped you feel more respectful of others and to be more mindful of their perspectives, even if you don't agree with them. Think of the charitable works that you have done as a result of empathy. You may also wish to acknowledge the people who have shown empathy toward you, such as friends, counselors and loved ones.
SESSION PLAN
WELCOMING AND ENTERING
Materials for Activity
Preparation for Activity
Description of Activity
As children enter, greet them and direct them to the table with the gemstones.
Ask the children to choose one, two, or three gemstones to represent acts of goodness that they did or witnessed since the last time they came to Moral Tales.
If any children are participating for the first time in the Gems of Goodness project, invite them to choose a notebook, write their name on it, and decorate it as they wish. Tell them they may also pick three gemstones to bring into the circle.
OPENING (2 MINUTES)
Materials for Activity
Preparation for Activity
Description of Activity
Gather the children in a circle. Light the chalice.
If some or all of the children are unfamiliar with the reading, teach it line by line. Then recite together:
Come into the circle of love and friendship.
Come into the community of justice and goodness.
Come and you shall know peace and joy.
Extinguish the chalice.
Related content:
ACTIVITY 1: GEMS OF GOODNESS (5 MINUTES)
Materials for Activity
Preparation for Activity
Description of Activity
Gather the children around the table where you have placed the cloth, the jar or vase, and the gemstones. Ask who remembered to keep track of acts in goodness in their notebooks.
Invite volunteers to stand up, and tell the group about an act of goodness they engaged in (or witnessed, if you have offered this option), and place the gem in the glass jar or vase.
Indicate the Moral Compass poster. Mention the virtues that the group has explored in previous sessions. Suggest that the children try to think of some acts of goodness related to these virtues, as they share their gems of goodness.
Encourage newcomers to join the sharing once they've had a chance to see what the other children are doing.
Use these guidelines to organize the sharing:
It is very important to avoid judging participants, either with criticism or praise. Avoid phrases like, "Great job!" or "You're fantastic!" which might encourage the children to compete to share the "best" act of goodness or to perceive that different acts of goodness have greater or lesser value.
Instead, listen carefully to what the children tell you. Help them identify the virtues their acts of goodness represent. When appropriate, indicate a word or phrase on the Moral Compass poster that fits the act of goodness. This will help the children learn to recognize a variety of virtues in a variety of forms.
After each sharing, you may say something like, "Thank you for sharing," followed by a summarizing sentence such as:
Your specific responses to the acts of goodness children share will help them feel pride, a sense of accomplishment, and their own empowerment as agents of justice and goodness.
If children are not volunteering, call out various types of acts of goodness, and invite children to come up if they experienced that particular kind of goodness. You may call out:
When the sharing is finished, remind the children to take home their notebooks and continue to keep track of their acts of goodness.
If you are planning to do so, remind the children that they may mark their achievement with a special celebration when the group has filled the glass jar or otherwise reached an established goal. If the group is approaching the goal, you may wish to brainstorm with them about the celebration. Suggestions might include having a special treat for a snack, or ending early to do physical games outside.
Whatever way you choose to mark the jar being filled, once it has been filled you may empty it and start over again.
Including All Participants
If any participants are not mobile, you or another child can accommodate by passing the jar. If a child is not verbal, you may wish to invite a participant to choose another child, or a co-leader, to read his/her acts of goodness from his/her notebook and place a gemstone in the jar.
ACTIVITY 2: STORY BASKET AND CENTERING (5 MINUTES)
Materials for Activity
Preparation for Activity
Description of Activity
Gather the children in a circle in the storytelling area. Show them the story basket. Say something like, "Let's see what's in our story basket this week."
If you are using an altar as a focal point, take the cloth cover from the story basket and drape it over the box or small table. If the cloth cover has a special story, such as who made it, where it comes from, or the meaning of any symbols on it, briefly share the story with the children. Tell the group that the items in the story basket will be placed on this altar or table after the children have passed them around the circle.
Take the story-related items from the basket, one at a time, and pass the stuffed seal or picture of seals around.
If you have a globe or a world map, indicate Scotland . Tell the children that this is the country where this folk tale comes from. Point out Scotland 's northern coastline, and say that cold ocean waters are where seals live.
Tell the children, in your own words:
In some parts of the world, including Scotland , where this folk tale is from, seals have been hunted for their skins, and also for their meat. People have used seal skins to make fur coats and other clothing. Seal-hunting and seal products are not allowed in some countries anymore, but the country of Canada still lets hunters kill seals. Every year, hundreds of thousands of seals are killed, and most of them are just a few months old.
You may wish to show Canada on the globe or world map, if you have one.
Write or post the word "Empathy" on the Moral Compass poster and ask if anyone can read the word. After someone has identified the word, ask if anyone knows what that word means. Describe the word:
Empathy is the ability to step into someone else's shoes, to imagine what they feel, with respect and caring. When you use empathy, you see things and feel things the way another person might see or feel them — someone who is not you.
Offer an example that children this age can relate to. You can ask:
Tell the group:
The story you are going to hear is about someone who learns how the seals feel when they are hunted and hurt. Learning how the seals feel wakes up the character's empathy.
When everyone has had a chance to look at the object, have the last person put it back in the story basket or on the altar, if you are using one.
Now remove the chime, rain stick or other instrument from the story basket. Tell/remind the children that every time you tell a story in Moral Tales, you will use this sound instrument to help them get their ears, their minds, and their bodies ready to listen.
Invite them to sit comfortably and close their eyes (if they are comfortable doing so). You may tell them that closing their eyes can help them focus just on listening.
In a calm voice, say, in your own words:
As you breathe in, feel your body opening up with air. As you breathe out, feel yourself relaxing.
Repeat this once or twice and then say:
Now you are ready to listen. When I hit the chime (turn the rain stick over), listen as carefully as you can. See how long you can hear its sound. When you can no longer hear it, open your eyes and you will know it is time for the story to begin.
Sound the chime or other instrument. When the sound has gone, begin telling the story.
Including All Participants
If anyone in the group is unable to hold or pass items, or cannot see the items, make sure you or a child in the group offers the person a chance to see and touch each object, as needed. When a picture is being passed, describe it to a child with blindness or limited eyesight while he/she is holding it.
Some people do not feel safe closing their eyes when they are in a group. If any children resist, respect their resistance and suggest that they find a single point of focus to look at instead.
If you have a basket of fidget objects for children who will listen and learn more effectively with something in their hands, make the fidget object basket available during this activity. For a full description of fidget objects and guidance on using them, see Leader Resources. Note, "The Wounded Seal" is more interactive than some of the other stories in Moral Tales; children who ordinarily use fidget objects may not need them.
ACTIVITY 3: STORY — THE WOUNDED SEAL (5 MINUTES)
Materials for Activity
Preparation for Activity
Description of Activity
The goal of the participatory style of storytelling is to fully engage the children in the story. As the children move as the story characters would, they have a chance to "walk in the shoes of" the characters, increasing their own experience of empathy.
Wherever you use the children's participation suggestions, use the chime, rain stick, or other instrument to signal when the movement has gone on long enough and the children are to be still and listen again. While most children will probably understand this signal without explanation; you may like to explain it the first time you use it.
The degree of participation will vary from group to group. Younger children are more likely to fully participate. If some decide it is not "cool," then others are likely to hold back, too. It is worthwhile to try the activity, though, as it takes some children a while to warm up to physical participation and most children this age enjoy it greatly.
Before you begin, look around the room and make eye contact with each person. Then, tell the story.
Ring the chime (use other sound instrument) to indicate that the story is over.
Including All Participants
There are children for whom it is very difficult to sit still, even when they are paying attention to what is happening around them. This can be frustrating for teachers, as well as for the children who are expected to maintain stillness for prolonged periods of time. If you have children in the group for whom this is the case, consider adopting the use of "fidget objects" as described in Leader Resources. These fidget objects can provide a non-disruptive outlet for the need to move.
ACTIVITY 4: PROCESSING THE STORY (5 MINUTES)
Preparation for Activity
Description of Activity
Since the children have been active, they should be able to sit for a short time to discuss the story. Ask these questions:
Including All Participants
If some children seem unable to sit, listen and contribute to a discussion at this point, you may wish to cut the questions short and/or bring out the fidget objects basket (see Leader Resources).
ACTIVITY 5: COOPERATIVE MUSICAL HOOPS (10 MINUTES)
Materials for Activity
Preparation for Activity
Description of Activity
Tell the children that when you start the music, they may move or dance or skip around the room wherever they wish. As soon as you stop the music, they must quickly get inside nearest the hula hoop.
Play the music, then stop it. Once the children are all inside hula hoops, start the music again. While children are moving and dancing, take one of the hula hoops away. Stop the music. Tell the children that now they must all get inside the remaining hula hoops as quickly and carefully as possible.
Continue until you have only two hula hoops left in the center of the room. Before you start the music again, tell the children:
Next time the music stops, you must carefully and cooperatively all fit inside the one hula hoop that will be left. You will have to fit so everyone's feet are inside the hula hoop. It may be difficult to do. While you are working on it, listen for this sound (demonstrate the bell or other instrument). When you hear it, freeze.
Play the music one last time, then stop it. Watch as the children try to fit inside the remaining hula hoop. At any time, you may use the bell or other sound instrument to freeze the action and ask the children to look at where they are. Guide them to talk from a still position about how to accomplish their goal. If there are too many children to accomplish this, you may tell them that as long as at least one of each child's feet is inside, they will have succeeded. If there are only a few children, you can make it more challenging by asking them to pick up the hula hoop and move around in it, together.
The goal of this activity is to give the children a chance to work cooperatively and creatively at a task in which they all must be included. It is also to give them an opportunity to move their whole bodies, and to have fun.
Including All Participants
If any children cannot move freely, the group can find a way to include those persons in the final circle. If a child does not feel comfortable participating in the movement, give him/her the job of starting and stopping the music or invite the child to give suggestions as how to everyone could join the circle.
Some children may dislike being in the center of a group where children are all pushing, moving and talking at once. Before you start the third go-round, suggest that anyone who is not comfortable in the middle of a crowded situation could stay to the outside of the hoop, and that if anyone feels uncomfortable at anytime he/she can yell "stop" and everyone will freeze so that they can get out.
ACTIVITY 6: IN YOUR SHOES: REAL LIFE FROM MULTIPLE PERSPECTIVES (15 MINUTES)
Materials for Activity
Preparation for Activity
Description of Activity
Gather the children in a circle. Show them the pairs of paper shoes. Place pairs of shoes as you want them for the first scenario you plan to do. Say:
This game is about the expression, "If you could stand in my shoes." What do you think that means?
Some children may know the expression. Affirm correct answers. Then tell the group:
The expression doesn't really mean we need to try on other people's shoes to find out how it feels to be them. It does mean that if you can imagine how it feels to be someone else in a particular situation, you can understand the situation better. In this game, we are going to stand in the shoes of some other people, and see if it helps us imagine how those people might feel.
I am going to describe a pretend situation now. I will need some volunteers to stand in the shoes of the characters in the story.
Invite the correct number of volunteers to stand in the center with you. Some of the scenarios include directions for staging with chairs or the paper shoes; have volunteers help you move items, as needed. Assign roles, and read a scenario from Leader Resource, Empathy Scenarios, or one you have added. When you have finished, invite some or all of the volunteers to describe what they think the character they are standing in for would feel, need or want.
You might ask two of the children to "switch shoes" and consider the situation from another character's perspective. Then invite new volunteers to stand in the shoes and express what they feel and think.
After the children have had a chance to share their thoughts and feelings, invite them to sit again. Ask the group:
If there are two or more adults in the room, one of you can write on the newsprint the feelings that the children are expressing. To close the activity, you might go over this list of feelings to reinforce the experience.
The goal of this activity is to help the children to see how any situation can have multiple perspectives, and that our feelings toward someone and his/her situation can change when we take the time to step into their shoes. Another goal is for the children to experience that when they take the time to know what another person might be feeling and needing, they are more likely and better able to care about their needs and feelings, to treat them with greater respect, and to act on their behalf.
Including All Participants
This activity requires sensitivity and close monitoring. There may be children in the group who have been in the shoes of the target, or have been treated unfairly. Others may recognize that they have been in other roles portrayed in the scenarios. Stepping into the shoes of any character must be voluntary. If a child becomes uncomfortable, allow him/her to step out.
If children cannot take the exercise seriously or participate respectfully, ask them to sit away from the activity until it is finished.
A child in a wheelchair can position himself/herself at the spot marked by a pair of paper shoes.
ACTIVITY 7: CLEAN-UP (2 MINUTES)
Materials for Activity
Preparation for Activity
Description of Activity
In this activity the children are asked to return the meeting space to being as neat and clean as they found it and to put away the materials used in the session. Remind the children that other people may use the space, and should be able to find it clean and ready to use.
Engage the children in thinking about materials that can be recycled. Specifically identify and assign any clean-up task that will help the children understand and accept their own responsibility as users of the meeting space. Use the clean-up activity to help children think about how their actions affect others and gain good feelings from participating in a group effort.
If your congregation has a recycling system, ask a child or pair of children to take the recycled materials to the bins. If your congregation does not have a recycling system, this may be a good Moral Tales project to initiate! In the meantime you might want to suggest that a different child each week take home a bag of recyclables. First, ask parents if they wish to participate in this project.
Including All Participants
All children should assist as able.
CLOSING (3 MINUTES)
Materials for Activity
Preparation for Activity
Description of Activity
This activity helps the children get used to practicing a closing ritual as a way of affirming their part in the faith community.
Gather the group in a circle. Thank the children for participating and sharing their stories and ideas in this session. Tell them something you liked about the way they worked together as a community.
Point out the Moral Compass poster. Say, in your own words:
Our Moral Compass shows us ways to do good things and make good decisions. Today we heard a story about empathy and we had some experiences about trying on one another's shoes. Standing in someone else's shoes can be silly, but it is an expression that can help us remember to try to imagine what it is like to be someone else and feel the way they do. Let's keep empathy in mind. Understanding how others feel is a very powerful way of finding acts of goodness you can do.
Remind the children that the next time they meet they will have a chance to add more gems to the Gems of Goodness jar. If appropriate, remind them that when the jar is full of gemstones, you will have a special celebration. You may wish to encourage them to try using empathy and the other virtues you have posted on the Moral Compass poster as they look for ways to act for goodness or justice.
Lead the children in singing Hymn 414 in Singing the Living Tradition, "As We Leave This Friendly Place." If the hymn is unfamiliar to some of the children, teach it line by line and then sing it once through together.
The song's lyrics are:
As we leave this friendly place,
Love give light to every face;
May the kindness which we learn
Light our hearts till we return.
Distribute the Taking It Home handout you have prepared. If new participants need to take home a Gems of Goodness notebook and parent handout, make sure they have these.
Thank the children, tell them you look forward to seeing them next time, and dismiss the group.
Related content:
FAITH IN ACTION: SHORT-TERM — PROTECTING SEALS, ADVOCACY (15 MINUTES)
Materials for Activity
Preparation for Activity
Description of Activity
This project engages the children in acting from the empathy that they have experienced for the seals and the Seal Hunter. They will be given the opportunity to help protect seals from seal hunting in Canada by making cards or writing letters. If you are looking for a project that can involve the larger congregational community, read Faith in Action: Protecting Seals — Long-term, which provides guidance for engaging the children in an awareness and/or fundraising campaign.
Gather the children around the tables where they will work. Remind them that as Unitarian Universalists we try to put our faith into action. Suggest that after learning about empathy and caring we want to use our new feelings to help make the world a better place. Suggest that if children want to help to protect seals that are still being hunted, they can write letters to people in Canada who have the power to make a law against seal hunting. Or, if you prefer, suggest the children write to thank officials or advocates who are working to end seal hunting and trade in products made from seals.
You may wish to tell the children that seal hunting still goes on and that the largest seal hunt happens each spring in Canada , just after new seals are born. Give them as much information as you think will be helpful but not overwhelming or unnecessarily upsetting. Tell the children that many organizations and individuals are working hard to convince the Canadian government to outlaw seal hunting and to convince other countries to stop buying products made of seal parts.
Including All Participants
At this age, children in a group may have a wide range of abilities in terms of writing. Offer children the option of illustrating a card and dictating the words they want to say to an adult or an older child. Children who do not wish to make or write a card can be invited to draw a scene from the story or one of the role play scenarios.
LEADER REFLECTION AND PLANNING
Take a few minutes to evaluate the session with your co-leader immediately afterward, while it is fresh. Share your thoughts with any other team teachers and your director of religious education.
You might find it helpful to consider these questions:
TAKING IT HOME
The first duty of love is to listen. — Paul Tillich
IN TODAY'S SESSION...
Today the children learned about empathy as a tool for treating others with caring, compassion and respect, and for making moral decisions about how to act in the world. They heard a folk tale from Scotland about a seal hunter who wounds a seal and then is given a chance by the seals to "step into their shoes" and experience how it feels, from their perspective, to be hunted.
We extended our exploration of empathy by acting out various scenarios where we stepped into other people's shoes to see things from their point of view. For our Faith in Action project, we began making cards and letters to send to government officials in Canada to help protect the seals from brutal hunting practices.
EXPLORE THE TOPIC TOGETHER.
Invite your child(ren) to retell you the story, "The Wounded Seal," and what they learned by acting out different parts of the story. Ask them about the role plays in which they had an opportunity to step into other people's shoes. Talk with them about ways in which you practice empathy as a family, showing care for relatives and neighbors, helping those who are in need, or forgiving others who hurt us.
EXTEND THE TOPIC TOGETHER.
Notice opportunities to try to look at an experience through someone else's eyes and to step into other people's shoes. Point these out to your child(ren). If your child has a conflict with a sibling or friend ask them to imagine how the other person might feel.
A FAMILY RITUAL
Make a habit of sharing stories from Moral Tales during a meal time together, soon after each session. You can find all the stories used in Moral Tales sessions online; they are included in the Tapestry of Faith curricula (at www.uua.org/religiouseducation/curricula/tapestryfaith/) for children. You can invite your child to tell a story, print out the story and tell it yourself, or tell it together.
See if your child will tell you some of the activities the group did, related to the story. Share a story from your own experience that relates to the story theme. Examples in this case could be experiences in which you learned to appreciate someone else's point of view or began to feel more kindly toward someone after learning more about them. Relate experiences that showed you what it might feel like to be hungry, scared, homeless, ill, oppressed, bullied, or in another situation that is hard to imagine if you are not in it.
A FAMILY GAME
Take a story that your family is familiar with and take turns telling it from the perspective of the different characters. For example, tell the story of the Three Little Pigs from the perspective of the Wolf.
ALTERNATE ACTIVITY 1: CANDLES OF JOYS AND SORROWS (10 MINUTES)
Materials for Activity
Preparation for Activity
Description of Activity
Determine if your room and building policies allow for open flames. If not, consider doing this activity with a felt board and felt candles or with beads in a jar.
Begin by lighting a "starter" candle. Invite the children to come forward one at a time and light a candle of joy and sorrow from the starter candle and push it into the sand. The child should then face the group and tell them what the candle is for. Translate the language so they understand that we are talking about things that have made them very happy or sad.
Candles of joy and sorrow offer the opportunity for children to experience what is a weekly ritual in many Unitarian Universalist congregations. This activity can deepen sense of community in the Moral Tales group. It gives participants a chance to name those things which they carry in their hearts, encourages listening to others, and, in many cases, makes a link with the adult worship experience.
IMPORTANT: Do not leave burning candles unattended. When all who wish to participate have done so, blow the candles out and put the matches away in a safe place.
Including All Participants
If a child is physically unable to light a candle and/or stand to address the group, ask the child to invite another child to light a candle for him/her or offer to do it yourself. Allow the child to speak joys and sorrows from where he/she is sitting.
ALTERNATE ACTIVITY 2: STORY HOT SEAT (20 MINUTES)
Materials for Activity
Preparation for Activity
Description of Activity
In this activity the children have a chance to step into the shoes of the characters in "The Wounded Seal" after the story has happened. Settle children in the chairs you have placed in a semi-circle. Tell them:
The chair set apart is the "hot seat." The person in the hot seat will pretend to be one of the characters in the story. The rest of us can ask the person in the hot seat questions. The person in the hot seat answers as character.
Be the first one in the hot seat. Tell the children that you are going to leave the room and come back as one of the characters. Leave, come back, and introduce yourself. You may say:
Hello, children. I am the Seal Hunter. Do you have any questions for me?
Tell the children they may raise their hands and ask the character questions about the story. Answer a question or two, then ask if someone else would like to take a turn in the hot seat. Let this child leave the room and come back as the same or a new character. After a short while, suggest that another child take the hot seat. If the children are all eager to be in the hot seat, then limit one or two questions per turn in the hot seat.
As needed, guide the activity by sharing with the group these rules:
The goal of this activity is to help the children develop a deeper understanding of the story, to explore the feelings and the perspectives of the characters in more depth, and to have a personal experience of empathy.
If the children are having difficulty generating questions, model asking questions such as:
ALTERNATE ACTIVITY 3: MY PARTNER'S SHOES (3 MINUTES)
Materials for Activity
Description of Activity
When you use this method of forming pairs of children, you increase the chance of each child to work with someone that they do not know well. It also strengthens the metaphor that we are using in this lesson of building empathy by walking in another's shoes.
Show the group the bag or box. Ask one half of the children to remove one of their shoes, put it in the bag or box, and return to their seats.
Then, invite the other children to reach into the box or bag of shoes and pull one out without looking. When each child has a shoe, invite them to find the child who is wearing the matching shoe. That child will be their partner for the Alternate Activity 4: Empathetic Listening.
Including All Participants
Some children may not yet know how to tie their own shoes. Offer help to children who seem reluctant to take their shoes off or have difficulty putting them back on again.
ALTERNATE ACTIVITY 4: EMPATHETIC LISTENING (10 MINUTES)
Materials for Activity
Preparation for Activity
Description of Activity
Arrange the group so each child is seated, facing his/her partner. Tell them you will give the group a question for one partner to answer by telling a short story to the other partner. Say, in your own words:
The partner who listens to the story also has a lot to do. When you listen to your partner, try to listen with empathy. That means you will listen in a way that shows your partner you can imagine being them in the situation they are describing. Listen in a way that shows you understand how they might have felt.
Now indicate the newsprint you have posted. You can say:
I am sure you already know how to listen carefully to another person. Here are some things you can do to make really sure the other person knows how carefully and caringly you are listening to their story.
Tell children the tips for empathetic listening. Indicate the short reminder phrases that you have posted. Tell the group you will sound the bell (or other noise maker) to signal when it is time to switch partners, and when it is time to return to the circle.
With your co-leader or a child volunteer, demonstrate the difference between eye contact and looking away, listening carefully and interrupting, nodding in response and yawning or looking blank as if bored.
Now invite partners to look at one another. Make sure each pair knows who will tell a story first. Remind the listeners to listen carefully and empathetically, and not to interrupt to talk about their own experiences.
Use one of these questions, or one of your own:
Roam the room and listen in on some pairs to help children follow the instructions. After a minute or so, sound the bell. Once all pairs have stopped, invite the listeners to tell the story back to their partners, including any details such as how old the person was, what happened, and how they felt. The story-teller can correct them if necessary.
Sound the bell again and ask the partners to switch roles. Restate some of the tips for empathetic listening or the rules of the activity if you feel it is necessary. Choose another question, and repeat the activity.
The goal of this activity is to teach the children how to listen empathetically to someone else and to get to know their peers by learning more about them and showing caring and respect. If there is time at the end of this exercise, ask for volunteer pairs to each retell their partners' story to the group. Remind the whole group to demonstrate the same empathetic listening skills.
Including All Participants
If the number of children is uneven, have one group of three. If there is a child who is non-verbal or for whom this exercise would be too difficult, include him/her in a threesome as a listener.
MORAL TALES: SESSION 4:
STORY 1: THE WOUNDED SEAL — A FOLK TALE FROM SCOTLAND
Adapted from a Scottish folktale in The Fairy Mythology by Thomas Keightley (George Bell & Sons, 1882).
Long ago in Scotland there was a small fishing village that stood at the edge of the sea. Now in this village was a man who had made his living from the killing of seals and selling their skins in the market. His father and grandfather before him had done it and it was the only way that he knew how to make a living.
One day the Seal Hunter got into his small boat and rowed out from the rocky shores. (Leader — "Can you show me what a rowing movement would look like? Let's all try it. When you hear this sound (rain stick or bell) it will be time to stop the movements and the story will continue when everyone is quiet.")
He rowed, and rowed until he came to the place where the seals were gathered. He put in his oars and let the boat drift. He watched as the seals swam, and played together.
(Leader — "Can you show pretend to be the seals swimming and playing together?" This can be done sitting or standing and can be done in place or moving around the room.)
Soon a large grey seal came up beside the boat. Quickly he stabbed his knife into the seal, and reached for his net. But before he could throw the net over the seal it swam away, with the Seal Hunter's knife still in its side. (Leader — "What movement can we make for the seal swimming away? What sound do you think it was making? What were the other seals doing? Can one person be the wounded seal and everyone else be the other seals? What do you think the wounded seal was feeling?")
The Seal Hunter fished for small fish that day, and then rowed home.
That night as he was eating his dinner there came a knock on the door. (Leader — Mimic a knocking movement and sound for children to join in.)
There stood a woman who had come to his door on horseback. She was handsomely dressed, but her eyes were sad. "There is a rich man who would like to buy many seal skins from you," she said. "I will take you to him."
She beckoned for the Seal Hunter to jump up behind her on her horse and they rode like the wind. (Leader — "Can you show me from your seats what it would look like to ride like the wind on horseback?")
Soon they came to the edge of the cliffs and they dismounted. The Seal Hunter looked around but he could not see anyone else there. He was about to ask where the rich man was, when the handsome woman took him by the hand and pulled him over the edge of the cliff. Down, down they fell through the air and then into the cold sea below. (Leader — "Can you show what this would look like and feel like?")
They swam deeper and deeper and soon the Seal Hunter realized that he could breathe under water. In fact he saw that his body and that of his companion had become seal bodies.
They swam deeper and deeper under the water until they came to a cave opening in the side of the rock face. They swam into the cave.
(Leader — "Can you show me what it would be like to swim like a seal under the cave?")
As they swam deeper and deeper in to the cave, the Seal Hunter realized that they were in a great seal compound, a place with halls and rooms where many seals lived. The halls were dimly lit, but he could see many seals watching them as they swam by. All of the seals looked very sad, and there was a gloomy feeling all around them.
(Leader — "How do you think the Seal Hunter felt, at this point?")
Suddenly his companion stopped and showed the Seal Hunter a large fishing knife. "Is this yours?" she asked.
"Yes," said the Seal Hunter honestly. "I lost it today when I speared large seal that swam away with it."
"That seal is my father," said the companion. "He now lies dying, and only you can save him."
They came at that point into a darkened room. In the center of the room on a flat rock was a large seal with a deep wound in his hindquarters. All around, seals stood, looking on sadly.
"Lay your hands upon the wound," instructed the companion.
The Seal Hunter felt afraid, but he swam forward and placed his hand over the wound of the seal. All the seals swam closer to watch him.
(Leader — "Do we want to act out this scene?" Ask for volunteers to be the seal, the Seal Hunter and the other seals watching.)
The Seal Hunter was surprised to feel a great surge of feelings coming from the seal when he placed his hand upon the wound.
(Leader — "What do you think he might have felt?" All answers are accepted, and can be included in the story line.)
They were feelings that he had never felt so strongly before. There was great pain, and sadness, and hopelessness, as if the world would never be right again.
But gradually the wound began to heal, and as it did the Seal Hunter began to feel peace spread through him, and then hope, and then the greatest joy.
Suddenly the large seal rose up as if he had never been injured. There was great rejoicing in the compound.
(Leader — "How would you act this out?")
The Seal Hunter's companion took him by the arm and said to him, "I will take you home now, but first you must promise that you will never hunt seal again."
The man did not know how he would ever make a living, but he also knew that he could not hurt the seals again.
The two swam up out of the cave, and up, up through the cold green water to the surface, and then flew up, up through the air until they stood on the cliffs again. (Leader — What would that look like to fly through the air?)
They jumped on the horse's back and rode like the wind back to the man's home. (Leader — Mime riding horseback from a sitting position again.)
There he jumped down from the horse. As his companion turned to go, she thanked the Seal Hunter. He saw that her eyes were no longer sad. The man kept his word and he never hunted the seals again.
(Leader — Use the sound instrument to signal that the story is over.)
MORAL TALES: SESSION 4:
LEADER RESOURCE 1: EMPATHY SCENARIOS
Scenario #1: Bullying on the playground
A bully and his/her two friends are surrounding a child alone on the
playground and making fun of his/her haircut. Another couple of children are
watching from a short distance away but they aren't sticking up for him/her.
Invite one child at a time to come and stand in his/her shoes while others
stand silently in the shoes of those in the scene.
Invite the child in the shoes to say what the target feels, and what he/she
wants. It may help if they all start by saying, "This is what I feel... " "This is
what I need or want... "
Allow a few more volunteers to stand in his/her shoes.
If you like, ask the bystanders to say what they feel and what they want as
well. If the situation feels safe and you believe the children will be serious and
respectful you can ask the children in the bully roles to say what they think
those characters are feeling.
Scenario #2 — Picked last
Children are picking teams for a softball game. The last two children are left.
Set out shoes for a few children on each team and two children left.
Invite children to come and stand in their shoes and say what they feel, and
what they want. When everyone is done you can ask them to reflect on how
they might act differently after feeling empathy.
Scenario #3 — New child in class
A new child comes to school from a foreign country. His/her English is not
very good yet and he/she has a strong accent. When the teacher introduces
him/her to the students and he/she says hello, my name is ____ a few of the
other children laugh quietly.
Set up chairs as in a classroom and put the shoes of the new child under one
of the chairs in the back. Put a few other pairs of shoes around for the
children who laughed and a few for those who didn't.
Again invite volunteers to stand in their shoes and to answer the questions:
"What do I feel?" "What do I want or need?"
When everyone is done, ask them to reflect on how they might feel or act
differently after feeling empathy.
Scenario #4 - Looking different
There is a child who comes to school who has to wear a brace, thick glasses
or has something about their appearance that is different. No one sits next to
the child in the cafeteria at lunchtime.
Ask the children to help set up the chairs or tables and the shoes to create
this scene and ask for volunteers to step into the shoes. Try to get as many
children as possible to try on the shoes of this child.
Scenario #5 — Little brother or sister
A boy or girl wants to play alone with his/her friend but a little brother or sister
wants to tag along. The little sibling is on one side of a door crying. The big
brother or sister and friend are on the other side.
Set up the shoes and let people try on the roles. When everyone is done you
can ask them to reflect on how they might feel or act differently after feeling
empathy.
Create your own scenarios that feel age-appropriate for the group.
MORAL TALES: SESSION 4:
LEADER RESOURCE 2: SHOE TEMPLATE
MORAL TALES: SESSION 4:
LEADER RESOURCE 3: FAITH IN ACTION LETTERS TO PARENTS
Here are two sample letters to engage parents' help in (1) the children's
retelling of "The Wounded Seal" or (2) a fundraising bake sale to help an
organization working to protect seals from hunting. Customize as you wish for
the long-term Faith in Action project you plan to do.
Dear Parents,
The children in Moral Tales have been learning about Empathy. They heard a
story about a seal that was wounded during a seal hunt. As part of our Faith
in Action projects where we put our new learning into practice, we have
decided to have a bake sale to raise money for an organization that is
working to stop seal hunting in Canada . The seal-hunting industry in Canada
does very little to promote economic well being for the fisherman, yet causes
the often cruel deaths of over 250,000 baby seals each year.
We hope that you will help your child bake something for the bake sale which
we will hold on (day, date, time) during coffee hour at our congregation. If you
are able to contribute baked goods, please bring them to the coffee hour
room before dropping off your child for religious education.
Thanks for your participation,
Co-leader name(s) / contact information
###
Dear Parents,
The children in Moral Tales have been learning about empathy. They heard a
story about a seal that was wounded during a seal hunt. As part of our Faith
in Action projects where we put new learning into practice, we have decided
to retell the story in the children's message time during worship on (day, date)
in order to share our learning with others.
Please bring your child 30 minutes early on (day, date). If your child is role-
playing a seal, you may like to dress him/her in gray or brown. We will meet in
the sanctuary before worship so the children can practice their presentation.
Thank you for your help!
Co-leader name(s) / contact information
FIND OUT MORE
Tonglin Meditation
Learn more about the Buddhist practice of Tonglin meditation. Radical Self-Acceptance: A Buddhist Guide to Freeing Yourself from Shame by Tara Brach (Sounds True, 2000) is a three-CD set that includes a short guided Tonglin meditation. You may also want to explore writings and audio tapes by Pema Chodron.
Cooperative Games
Find more non-competitive games in two books by Terry Orlick:
The Cooperative Sports and Games Book: Challenge without Competition by Terry Orlick (New York: Pantheon Books, 1978)
The Second Cooperative Sports and Games Book by Terry Orlick (New York: Pantheon Books, 1982)
Empathy in Conflict Resolution
Practice in empathetic listening is one of the tools suggested by Sarah Pirtle in her book, Discovery Time for Cooperation and Conflict Resolution (Creative Response to Conflict, Inc., 1998).
An Empathy Tale for All Ages
Read "Two Brothers" by Elisa Pearmain in Once Upon a Time: Storytelling to Teach Character and Prevent Bullying ( Greensboro, NC : Character Development Group, 2006). In this ancient Jewish story, two brothers each think of the needs of the other and secretly fill one another's grain stores in the night, only to discover each other in the middle of a field, a place that King Solomon later declared sacred.
More Empathy Scenarios
In these books, find stories that may help you devise additional scenarios for Activity 5, In Your Shoes: Real Life from Multiple Perspectives:
Chrysanthemum by Kevin Henkes (Harper Trophy, l996). Children tease a little girl about her name.
The Hundred Dresses by Eleanor Estes (Harcourt Paperbacks, 2004). A little girl is teased about her shabby clothes.
Hey, Little Ant by Phillip Hoose (Tricycle Press, l998). Readers see both sides of the story when an ant tries to convince a boy to spare his life.
Baseball Saved Us by Ken Mochizuki (Lee & Low Books, 1995). A Japanese American boy is teased about his size and ethnicity.
I'm Not Invited? by Diana Blumenthal (Athenaeum/Richard Jackson Books, 2003). A little girl is sad, confused and disappointed when she thinks she has been left out of her friend's party.
Protecting Seals
While many nations today ban seal hunting and seal products, Canada still allows a seal hunt in which 250,000 to 300,000 seals are killed every year. Most of the seals that are killed are only a few months old.
Many international organizations work to protect seals (at www.stopthesealhunt.com/site/c.ihKPIWPCIqE/b.2558507/k.B299/Stop_the_Seal_Hunt__300000_Actions_for_300000_Seals.htm) from clubbing and hunting. One is the International Fund f o r An i mal Welfare (at www.IFAW.org), an organization with U.S. headquarters in Yarmouth, MA , 800.932.4329. On the website, click "Join Campaigns," then select "Save Seals."
Find out about the Protect S e als Network (at www.hsus.org/marine_mammals/protect_seals/the_protect_seals_network.html) and how to assist one of the dozens of organizations working together to oppose Canadian seal-hunting (at www.hsus.org/marine_mammals/protect_seals/the_protect_seals_network.html), on the website of The Humane Society of the United States (at www.hsus.org/).
Fidget Objects
The idea of having a basket of "fidget objects" available during session activities comes from Sally Patton, author, workshop leader and advocate for children with special needs. It is a simple, inexpensive way to include and welcome children who find it difficult to sit still or who learn better while moving.
Provide a basket for fidget objects. Fill it with pipe cleaners, koosh balls, and other soft, quiet, manipulable objects.
When you introduce the fidget object basket to the group, begin by saying that some people learn best when their hands are busy. Give an example such as someone who knits while listening to a radio program or doodles during a meeting or class. Point out the fidget object basket. Tell the children they may quietly help themselves to items they may wish to use to keep their hands busy if this helps them to listen. However, also tell the children that the fidget object basket will be put away if the items become a distraction from the story or any other group activity.
You can make the basket available for the duration of the session, or bring the basket out only during activities, such as hearing a story told, that require children to sit still and listen for a significant period of time.