MORAL TALES
A Tapestry of Faith Program for Children
SESSION 12: MAKING A DIFFERENCE
BY ALICE ANACHECKA-NASEMAN AND ELISA PEARMAIN
© Copyright 2010 Unitarian Universalist Association.
Published to the Web on 11/8/2014 5:16:59 PM PST.
This program and additional resources are available on the UUA.org web site at
www.uua.org/religiouseducation/curricula/tapestryfaith.
SESSION OVERVIEW
INTRODUCTION
I am only one, but still I am one. I cannot do everything, but still I can do something. And because I cannot do everything, I will not refuse to do something that I can do. — Edward Everett Hale
This session introduces the concept of responsibility. It reinforces the ideas in the seventh Unitarian Universalist Principle, respect for the interdependent web of all existence, by demonstrating the idea that our action or lack of action makes a difference in an interdependent world. It encourages the children to feel empowered to take action when love, faith and conscience call. The session is woven around a folk tale from Thailand and Burma, "Not My Problem." In this story a queen is repeatedly asked to take action on what she considers a matter too small for her attention. She continues to ignore it until the situation grows to the point that her whole kingdom is lost. During the session the children explore the concept and experience of responsibility through acknowledging ways that they already make a difference, considering through role play how to make a difference in real life scenarios, and brainstorming problems that matter to them, and how even small actions on their part promote positive change. Responsibility is added to the Moral Compass.
GOALS
The session will:
LEARNING OBJECTIVES
Participants will:
SESSION-AT-A-GLANCE
Activity | Minutes |
Welcoming and Entering | 0 |
Opening | 3 |
Activity 1: Gems of Goodness — Responsibility | 12 |
Activity 2: Story Basket and Centering | 5 |
Activity 3: Story — "It's Not My Problem" | 10 |
Activity 4: Role Play — We Can Make a Difference | 10 |
Activity 5: If I Had a Magic Wand | 15 |
Activity 6: Clean-up | 3 |
Faith in Action: Responsibility Steps to Make a Difference — Long-term | 15 |
Closing | 2 |
Alternate Activity 1 Candles of Joys and Sorrows | 5 |
Alternate Activity 2: Making Magic Wands | 15 |
Alternate Activity 3: All My Friends and Neighbors Make a Difference | 15 |
SPIRITUAL PREPARATION
To prepare for leading and fully engaging in this session we suggest that you reread the quote at the start of the session by Edward Everett Hale. It is easy to feel overwhelmed by the amount of need that we see in this world. It is easy to feel disempowered when it seems that what is needed is so much money or a change of heart by governing officials, profit driven corporations, and warring factions. Still in the end our actions in the world do make a difference. Take some time to think, write, or share about all of the ways that you do make a difference in the lives of others, and that you do contribute to positive change, both locally and in the world.
You might try the "magic wand" exercise for yourself, thinking of what you would change if you could wave your magic wand. Then think, well what do I already do toward these ends? Is there another step you could take, whether alone, or with a group such as your family or your church community? You might also think about the difference between, "magic" as in a fairy tale, and the real heart-felt experience of knowing that people including yourself are giving their love and care to the world's problems.
Take some time to read the story and to picture it in your mind. Have you had personal experiences that remind you of this story, in which you did or did not consider something your problem? Did you feel empowered, or more connected, when you chose to act?
SESSION PLAN
WELCOMING AND ENTERING
Materials for Activity
Preparation for Activity
Description of Activity
As children enter, greet them and direct them to the table with the gemstones.
Ask the children to choose one, two, or three gemstones to represent acts of goodness that they did or witnessed since the last time they came to Moral Tales. If you wish, help focus the children on generosity. Ask if any participants were generous or experienced generosity.
If any children are participating for the first time in the Gems of Goodness project, invite them to choose a notebook, write their name on it, and decorate it as they wish. Tell them they may also pick three gemstones to bring into the circle.
OPENING (3 MINUTES)
Materials for Activity
Preparation for Activity
Description of Activity
Gather the children in a circle. Light the chalice.
If some or all of the children are unfamiliar with the reading, teach it line by line. Then recite together:
Come into the circle of love and friendship.
Come into the community of justice and goodness.
Come and you shall know peace and joy.
Extinguish the chalice.
Related content:
ACTIVITY 1: GEMS OF GOODNESS — RESPONSIBILITY (12 MINUTES)
Materials for Activity
Preparation for Activity
Description of Activity
Gather the children around the table where you have placed the cloth, the jar or vase, and the gemstones. Show the children the I Make a Difference handouts. Tell them that today you are going to do the Gems of Goodness activity in a slightly different way. You may say:
Today our topic will be taking responsibility and making a difference. To get us started, I invite you to put a gem of goodness in the jar today for some of the ways you take responsibility and make a difference at home, at school and here at our congregation. After you have all done that, you may share one or two additional acts of goodness from your notebooks, if you wish. And then we will look at acts of goodness and responsibility and making a difference a bit more, using the handouts I have brought.
Invite volunteers to stand up and share about a way that they take responsibility and make a difference. After they have shared, allow them to put a gem into the glass jar or vase. Prompt by suggesting some ways the children already make a difference at home, such as being responsible with chores, recycling trash, helping to take care of younger siblings or grandparents, cleaning up after themselves so that others don't have to, caring for a pet. You can also suggest that they probably have responsibilities at school, such as being a line leader, picking up at the end of the day, or other tasks the teacher suggests or that make other people's jobs easier. Suggest that the children make a difference with their friends if they share and offer kindness, stand up for another child who is being bullied, or work together on a sports team or in a musical band. Some children probably make a difference for people they don't even know, too, such as by collecting money for UNICEF at Halloween or participating in a bake sale to raise money for an organization or cause they care about. You can even remind them that they make a difference at your congregation, such as by helping with clean-up at the end of each Moral Tales session and perhaps in other ways that you can name from other times you have been together.
As the children share, write on their individual handouts a few words about the way or ways each child takes responsibility and makes a difference. Read aloud what you are writing, so children begin to hear you articulate that they already do make a difference in many aspects of their lives. This will prepare them to feel empowered to think of new ways to make a difference, later in the session and in their lives. In Activity 5 you will come back to the handout and fill out the bottom sections for each child. Some helpful hints to keep the Gems of Goodness process going:
Invite volunteers to stand up, and tell the group about an act of goodness they engaged in (or witnessed, if you have offered this option), and place the gem in the glass jar or vase.
Indicate the Moral Compass poster. Mention the virtues that the group has explored in previous sessions. Suggest that the children try to think of some acts of goodness related to these virtues, as they share their gems of goodness.
Encourage newcomers to join the sharing once they've had a chance to see what the other children are doing.
Use these guidelines to organize the sharing:
It is very important to avoid judging participants, either with criticism or praise. Avoid phrases like, "Great job!" or "You're fantastic!" which might encourage the children to compete to share the "best" act of goodness or to perceive that different acts of goodness have greater or lesser value.
Instead, listen carefully to what the children tell you. Help them identify the virtues their acts of goodness represent. When appropriate, indicate a word or phrase on the Moral Compass poster that fits the act of goodness. This will help the children learn to recognize a variety of virtues in a variety of forms.
After each sharing, you may say something like, "Thank you for sharing," followed by a summarizing sentence such as:
Your specific responses to the acts of goodness children share will help them feel pride, a sense of accomplishment, and their own empowerment as agents of justice and goodness.
If children are not volunteering, call out various types of acts of goodness, and invite children to come up if they experienced that particular kind of goodness. You may call out:
When the sharing is finished, remind the children to take home their notebooks and continue to keep track of their acts of goodness. Collect all participants' handouts.
If you are planning to do so, remind the children that they may mark their achievement with a special celebration when the group has filled the glass jar or otherwise reached an established goal. If the group is approaching the goal, you may wish to brainstorm with them about the celebration. Suggestions might include having a special treat for a snack, or ending early to do physical games outside.
Whatever way you choose to mark the jar being filled, once it has been filled you may empty it and start over again.
Including All Participants
If any participants are not mobile, you or another child can accommodate by passing the jar. If a child is not verbal, you may wish to invite a participant to choose another child, or a co-leader, to read his/her acts of goodness from his/her notebook and place a gemstone in the jar.
NOTE: The Gems of Goodness for this session has been adapted especially to focus on the theme of responsibility. The work children do with handouts in the Gems of Goodness activity is continued in Activity 5, If I Had a Magic Wand and may be extended further with the long-term Faith in Action project that begins in this session, Responsibility Steps. You may also wish to look at Alternate Activity 3: All My Friends and Neighbors Make a Difference, if you think your students need to be more physically active.
ACTIVITY 2: STORY BASKET AND CENTERING (5 MINUTES)
Materials for Activity
Preparation for Activity
Description of Activity
Gather the children in a circle in your storytelling area. Show them the story basket. Say something like, "Let's see what's in our story basket today."
If you are using an altar as a focal point, take the cloth cover from the story basket and drape it over the box or small table. If the cloth cover has a special story, such as who made it, where it comes from, or the meaning of any symbols on it, briefly share the story with the children. Tell the group that the items will be placed on this altar or table after the children have passed them around the circle.
Take the story-related items from the basket, one at a time, and pass them around. Briefly name the various objects. Children may ask questions about some of the items, begin to tell stories about similar things they have seen, or wonder aloud why an object is included. Tell them the group can talk more about the items after the story. Make sure you invite them to do so once you have finished the story and follow-up discussion.
If you have a globe or a world map, indicate Burma and Thailand in Southeast Asia. Tell the children that today's story was originally a folk tale from Burma and Thailand .
As the story basket items come back to you, place them on the altar. Objects that are fragile, or which should not be passed around for any reason, can be held up for all to see and then placed directly on the altar. Display the items for children to look at as they listen to the story.
Now remove the chime, rain stick or other instrument from the story basket. Tell the children that every time you tell a story in Moral Tales, you will first use the instrument to help them get their ears, their minds, and their bodies ready to listen.
Invite them to sit comfortably and close their eyes (if they are comfortable doing so). You may tell them that closing their eyes can help them focus just on listening.
In a calm voice, say, in your own words:
As you breathe in, feel your body opening up with air. As you breathe out, feel yourself relaxing.
Repeat this once or twice and then say:
Now you are ready to listen. When I hit the chime (turn the rain stick over), listen as carefully as you can. See how long you can hear its sound. When you can no longer hear it, open your eyes and you will know it is time for the story to begin.
Sound the chime or other instrument. When the sound has gone, begin telling the story.
Including All Participants
If anyone in the group is unable to hold or pass items, or cannot see the items, make sure you or a child in the group offers the person a chance to see and touch each object, as needed.
Some people do not feel safe closing their eyes when they are in a group. If any children resist, respect their resistance and suggest that they find a single point of focus to look at instead.
If you have a basket of fidget objects for children who will listen and learn more effectively with something in their hands, make the fidget object basket available during this activity. For a full description of fidget objects and guidance on using them, see Leader Resources.
ACTIVITY 3: STORY — IT'S NOT MY PROBLEM (10 MINUTES)
Materials for Activity
Preparation for Activity
Description of Activity
The story, "It's Not My Problem," has a repeating refrain which provides an obvious place for audience participation. You may choose to teach this to the children before you start to tell the story. Let them know that you will pause to invite them to say it with you, as if they were the queen. Participating in the story will help children become engaged with the message that all things are interconnected and that our action or lack of action does make a difference to the rest of the world.
Before you begin, look around the room and make eye contact with each person. Read or tell the story.
Ring the chime (use other sound instrument) to indicate that the story is over. Pause for a moment. Then help the group briefly discuss the story In this activity. Guide the group to explore the theme of taking responsibility and the notion that our actions and inaction do make a difference. The goal is to help the children to see all of the places that the various characters could have acted differently to make a better ending to the story. You may choose to lead the discussion with these questions:
Ask the group:
Remind the children at this point that this is the way it is when we see a problem at school or in our neighborhood or in the world. We may not have started it, and we may not be able to stop it alone, but by doing something we can probably help to keep the problem from getting worse. We are taking responsibility and that makes a difference.
Including All Participants
There are children for whom it is very difficult to sit still, even when they are paying attention to what is happening around them. This can be frustrating for teachers, as well as for the children who are expected to maintain stillness for prolonged periods of time. If you have children in the group for whom this is the case, consider adopting the use of "fidget objects" as described in Leader Resources. These fidget objects can provide a non-disruptive outlet for the need to move.
ACTIVITY 4: ROLE PLAY — WE CAN MAKE A DIFFERENCE (10 MINUTES)
Materials for Activity
Preparation for Activity
Description of Activity
Gather the children in a seated circle, with room for actors to play roles. Lead a role play using the scenario you have chosen:
Scenario: Don't Pass It On — How to Stop Gossip
In this role play the children are challenged to think about how to act responsibly if they hear someone talking meanly about someone else. Describe to them a scenario in which some children are telling a rumor about another. Ask for a volunteer to be the child whom the rumor is about.
Have the children stand in a line. At one end start the rumor that some child (make up a name, do not use a name of a child in the group) stole something from someone else, or threw up, or had a pants-wetting accident, or some such situation that would upset and embarrass a child this age. Have the children pretend to pass the rumor on down the line, going, "Pssst, pass it on," until it reaches the last person, who has agreed to pretend to be the person the rumor is about. Ask that person how it would feel if they found out that people were telling that story about them. (Possible answers: mad, sad, embarrassed.)
Then tell the children that they are to imagine that someone has started this rumor, by whispering it in someone's ear. Ask the children to imagine that someone told it to them and said, "Pass it on". Ask them for suggestions as to how to take responsibility for not hurting someone's feelings. Possible answers:
Scenario: Don't Exclude Me! — How to Make Sure No One Is Left Out
In this role play the children are challenged to think about how to act responsibly if they notice someone being excluded on purpose or simply left out. Describe to the children a situation at school, such as at recess, or in the lunch room in which a group of children are playing a game, or sitting together. Another child wants to join in but some of the children tell him/her that there is no more room, or they have enough people already.
Pick all but one of the children to be the players and one child who doesn't mind being the "child left out." Have them role play the game to the point where they tell the child that he/she can't play. Then have that child tell the group how that felt to be left out. (Possible answers: sad, lonely, not fair, mad.)
Then have the children act out the scene again, imagine the scene again but this time ask them to brainstorm how they might do something to help include everyone. Possible answers:
Including All Participants
If any children are disrespectful or disruptive or you are worried that they might be, do not assign them roles that require respectful engagement. You can ask them to sit quietly and watch, or give them a "fidget object" and ask them to sit quietly and watch.
ACTIVITY 5: IF I HAD A MAGIC WAND (15 MINUTES)
Materials for Activity
Preparation for Activity
Description of Activity
In this activity you will guide the children to figure out some things they can really do to change problems that concern them. You will demonstrate that an individual's actions do make a difference.
This activity has two parts. In the first part, you will draw out children's passion and concern about problems both locally and in the world, and help them articulate things they would change if they had the power to do so. In the second part of the activity, you will guide them to identify real steps they can take to help solve these problems.
Tell the children, in your own words:
When I was young I used to wish that I had a magic wand which could bring me anything that I wanted and could take away all of the problems in the world.
Today we are all going to pretend that we do have a magic wand. If you like, later, you can think about what fun things you would do or ask for with your wand, but right now we are going to imagine that we can use our magic wands to help make the world a better place.
Imagine that with this wand you could help to make a problem that is happening to someone or something, go away. It could be someone or something in your school or neighborhood or in the world. Maybe someone that you care about is sick, or someone you know is picked on at school or after school. Maybe you want to help animals at a local shelter to find homes, or you are concerned about littering, global warming or war.
Then invite children to take out the magic wands they have made, or pass the magic wands you have brought around the circle. Ask each child to make a wish. Make sure that the child who is speaking holds up his/her wand (while others do not), and everyone else listens. Write down the thing each child wishes on the newsprint, with their name next to it.
After everyone has shared, thank them for their thoughtful suggestions. Tell them that you wish that these problems could be solved with a wave of a magic wand, but that that is not the way that problems get solved. Tell them that magic that they cannot explain does not usually solve problems but that when each person acts out of caring and does some small thing to help, then a true lasting experience of wonder happens in which the world becomes a happier and more love-filled place.
You might give them some examples of every day small acts that help make the world a better place. For example you might have a sick friend or relative to whom you give comfort by calling on the phone or by doing their shopping for them so they can rest. Give examples of small ways that you or the congregational community helps to make problems better. Give them the examples of scientists and doctors whose daily work helps to find cures for many diseases, and of people working tirelessly to make changes to clean up rivers, end war or hunger, protect endangered species, and reduce global warming. Mention the actual actions people do, such as helping to wash oil off of birds after an oil tanker spill or using a re-usable lunch bag or "travel cup" to reduce their disposable waste.
Next, look at the list of problems that the children expressed concern about. If there is something on the list that more than one child expressed, use that as an example. Ask for suggestions of what one person could do that might help even a little. An example for stopping bullying might be; telling the target of bullying that you are sorry that people are mean to them, inviting them to sit with you and your friends at lunch, or telling the teacher if you see someone being mean to them. Steps to solve world hunger might include; taking a UNICEF box with you when you trick or treat, adding some of your coin collection to it at home, using some of your allowance to help support an agency that feeds children in poor areas of the world, making a poster for a bake sale to raise money, or telling your teacher at school that you want to have a bake sale to raise money. It will also help if the teacher describes a few simple and concrete steps that children have taken. Look at the resource section under books and websites that feature young people taking action.
The goal of this session is to show the children that even a small gesture of help, comfort or support is a valuable contribution, and makes the world a more love-filled place.
Including All Participants
When you ask children to share about a problem that they would like to change, you are potentially inviting them to talk about a problem that may be troubling them personally. If you make the request that they think about a problem that is hurting someone else, or other living beings, or if you limit their "wishes" to those they would make on behalf of others at their school, in their community or in the world, you will lessen the possibility of this happening. It is, however, possible that children will share personal experiences of pain. If this happens, try to give them concrete steps to feeling safer, expressing their feelings, and asking for help. If you think the child has experienced abuse or neglect or is in need of more help than you can give, inform your director of religious education to make sure congregational and state policies can by activated, as necessary, and to facilitate the child's issue being explored by professionals.
ACTIVITY 6: CLEAN-UP (3 MINUTES)
Materials for Activity
Preparation for Activity
Description of Activity
Invite the children to return the meeting space to being as neat and clean as they found it. Ask them to put away the materials used in the session. Remind the children that other people may use the space, and should be able to find it clean and ready to use.
Engage the children in thinking about materials that can be recycled. Specifically identify and assign any clean-up task that will help the children understand and accept their own responsibility as users of the meeting space. Use the clean-up activity to help children think about how their actions affect others and gain good feelings from participating in a group effort.
If your congregation has a recycling system, ask a child or pair of children to take the recycled materials to the bins. If your congregation does not have a recycling system, this may be a good Moral Tales project to initiate! In the meantime you might want to suggest that a different child each week take home a bag of recyclables. First, ask parents if they wish to participate in this project.
Including All Participants
All children should help, as able.
CLOSING (2 MINUTES)
Materials for Activity
Preparation for Activity
Description of Activity
This activity helps the children get used to practicing a closing ritual as a way of affirming their part in the faith community.
Gather the group in a circle. Thank the children for participating and sharing their stories and ideas in this session. Tell them something you liked about the way they worked together as a community.
Point out the Moral Compass poster. Say, in your own words:
Our Moral Compass shows us ways to do good things and make good decisions about how to be fair. Today we heard a story about a time when some people didn't help when they saw a problem. The problem got very big and hurt a lot of people. Unitarian Universalists believe that we are all part of an interdependent web of all existence, and that what each of us does or doesn't do, makes a difference.
Tell them that another way to say this is that we all have a "responsibility" to help make this world the best place it can be — so we will add "Responsibility" as a direction on our Moral Compass.
Write or post "Responsibility" on the Moral Compass poster.
Remind the children that the next time they meet they will have a chance to add more gems to the Gems of Goodness jar. If appropriate, remind them that when the jar is full of gemstones, you will have a special celebration. You may wish to encourage them to pay special attention to times when they are being welcoming, without prejudgment, as well as times when they have a chance to practice any of the other virtues on the Moral Compass poster.
Lead the children in singing Hymn 414 in Singing the Living Tradition, "As We Leave This Friendly Place." If the hymn is unfamiliar to some of the children, teach it line by line and then sing it once through together.
The song's lyrics are:
As we leave this friendly place,
Love give light to every face;
May the kindness which we learn
Light our hearts till we return.
Or, lead the group in once again singing "We're Gonna Sit at the Welcome Table," Hymn 407 in Singing the Living Tradition.
Distribute the Taking It Home handout you have prepared. If new participants need to take home a Gems of Goodness notebook and parent handout, make sure they have these.
Thank the children. You may wish to particularly thank them for sharing the things that they are concerned about and for helping to come up with ways that we each can make a difference. Tell them you look forward to seeing them next time, and dismiss the group.
Related content:
FAITH IN ACTION: LONG-TERM — RESPONSIBILITY STEPS (15 MINUTES)
Materials for Activity
Preparation for Activity
Description of Activity
In this activity, you will prepare and encourage children to take small steps on their own to solve problems they have already identified (Activity 5: If I Had a Magic Wand). Their experience is structured today with a handout that documents their "commitment to act" and rewarded, at a later date, with a handout that is a certificate for completing the actions they committed to do.
Have the children sit in a circle or around a table near where you have the newsprint and markers. Choose a problem from the list the children made in Activity 5 and, if you have not done so in advance, write it in the "Problem" column.
Then, revisit the solutions that students brainstormed for that problem. Engage the children to help you refine the solutions they have already suggested into three specific action. Write these in the three "Small Steps" column of the grid. Add your own ideas for small steps, if necessary.
Repeat this process for as many of the problems as you have time for.
This Faith in Action activity gives the children an opportunity to increase their sense of responsibility for problems they have already identified, and to identify ways they can express their responsibility and make a difference.
You may like to choose a group activity that requires individual, specific action from each person. Or, you can help each child identify small steps he/she will commit to take to make an individual contribution to solving a big problem.
Here are some examples of projects that might benefit from individual or group actions to provide something someone else needs or to take a stand and be heard about an issue:
If several children, in Activity 5, identified the same problem, you might suggest working on that one together, if it is feasible. If you are working on a problem together you can continue the planning and work in an additional session. Meanwhile, you may need to do some research to identify a specific project and some actions the children can realistically take to move the project along.
If the children have agreed to work individually, doing small steps on their own, all aimed at the same problem, use your newsprint grid to articulate the problem and at least three "small step" solutions. Invite each child to decide which small step he/she will do.
Or, you may allow each individual child to choose his/her own action(s) to help solve a problem of his/her choice. If children show passion about helping to solve particular problems, allow them to choose their problem and their small steps.
For each child, record the small steps he/she agrees to do on both an "I Made a Difference" Commitment to Act sheet and an "I Made a Difference" Certificate. Give the children the Commitment to Act to take home as a reminder, and be sure to mention this Faith in Action activity to parents, in person, via email, and/or in the Taking It Home handout for this session.
Tell the children that once their small steps are completed, they may bring the handout back to you, tell you what they have accomplished, and receive an "I Made a Difference" Certificate that you, and they, will sign. Make sure to keep each child's "I Made a Difference" Certificate and that their names are on them. You may choose in a future session to make a time for children to share the small steps they have done and receive their certificates from you. This follow-up activity is described in Session 13, Faith in Action.
To reinforce participation in this voluntary activity, and particularly to provide an incentive for children to do the small steps on their own, present the "I Made a Difference" Certificate or a special snack as a completion reward. You may wish to schedule a time for children to receive the signed certificates in a brief group ceremony when parents come to pick up their children, during a future session's Gems of Goodness activity, during congregational worship or at coffee hour. During the final ceremony or party it would be important to help the children to talk about how it felt to make a difference, and to connect this feeling with the idea that people actually doing something about a problem is an act of love, which is better than magic because it is real and makes the world a better place.
Including All Participants
It is not realistic to expect every child will follow up on his/her small step at home. Make sure your plans to reward children who do complete a small step do not exclude or embarrass children who, for one reason or another, have not done so.
LEADER REFLECTION AND PLANNING
Take a few minutes to evaluate the session with your co-leader immediately afterward, while it is fresh. Share your thoughts with any other team teachers and your director of religious education.
You might find it helpful to consider these questions:
TAKING IT HOME
I am only one, but still I am one. I cannot do everything, but still I can do something. And because I cannot do everything, I will not refuse to do something that I can do. — Edward Everett Hale
IN TODAY'S SESSION...
We focused on the idea of responsibility, and the fact that what each of us does or doesn't do, makes a difference. We heard a story from Thailand and Burma about a queen who saw a problem but thought that it was not her responsibility to solve it, until it was so big that her whole kingdom burned to the ground. We talked about ways that we already make a difference at home and school, and talked about problems that we wish we could help solve and did some brainstorming of small ways that we can make a difference with these problems. Your child should bring home an "I Make a Difference" handout which lists some answers they came up with.
For our Faith in Action project, the children have each agreed to take a small step that they have identified to help solve a big problem at school, in their community or in the world. You can help your child experience taking responsibility and making a difference by reminding and supporting him/her to complete the "small step" he/she has chosen.
EXPLORE THE TOPIC TOGETHER. TALK ABOUT...
It is easy for people of any age to feel powerless against so many big problems in the world. It is important to help your child to remember all of the ways that he/she already helps to make a difference in the world. Look at the list on the "I Make a Difference" handout with your child and add to it more ways that he/she helps around the house, and helps friends, neighbors and relatives. This can include things like cleaning up their toys so people don't trip on them, helping with recycling, sharing with siblings, talking to a grandparent on the phone. Think of "helping" as broadly as possible! Then talk about all the ways as a family that you take responsibility for making the world a better place. This can include things like obeying laws, voting, recycling, charitable donations or whatever any of your family members do to help in your community, at your congregation or at work.
EXTEND THE TOPIC TOGETHER. TRY...
Look at the "I Make a Difference" handout and talk about the problem that your child identified and the ways they can make a difference. If you can, add to the list or help your child visualize the identified acts with more detail and clarity.
A FAMILY RITUAL
Magic wand. When your family shares a meal together, pass a pretend magic wand around the table letting each person name a problem they wish they could swish away. Then talk about small ways that you can, or do, make a difference, and how these actions contribute to a lasting effect more valuable than "magic," because of the love and caring you put into them.
A FAMILY GAME
"It's Not My Problem." Ask your child to share the folk tale they heard in this session. You can find the story online; it is part of the Moral Tales curriculum on the Tapestry of Faith website (at www.uua.org/religiouseducation/curricula/tapestryfaith). Have fun making up a modernized version of the story together, as if it happened in your home or neighborhood or community. Maybe someone left a banana peel on the sidewalk, or a little toy truck on the stairs, and someone slipped which caused something else to go wrong which caused something else to go wrong until it was a disaster! Maybe one neighbor was too lazy to recycle, and then all the neighbors thought the city's recycling program had been cancelled, and people stopped recycling until there was so much trash that it started leaking out of the dump and into the neighborhood. (Try to make it funny!)
FAMILY DISCOVERY
Explore volunteer opportunities that your congregation or community offers and agree to try participating in one that is family-friendly.
ALTERNATE ACTIVITY 1: CANDLES OF JOYS AND SORROWS (10 MINUTES)
Materials for Activity
Preparation for Activity
Description of Activity
Determine if your room and building policies allow for open flames. If not, consider doing this activity with a felt board and felt candles or with beads in a jar.
Begin by lighting a "starter" candle. Invite the children to come forward one at a time and light a candle of joy and sorrow from the starter candle and push it into the sand. The child should then face the group and tell them what the candle is for. Translate the language so they understand that we are talking about things that have made them very happy or sad.
Candles of joy and sorrow offer the opportunity for children to experience what is a weekly ritual in many Unitarian Universalist congregations. This activity can deepen sense of community in the Moral Tales group. It gives participants a chance to name those things which they carry in their hearts, encourages listening to others, and, in many cases, makes a link with the adult worship experience.
IMPORTANT: Do not leave burning candles unattended. When all who wish to participate have done so, blow the candles out and put the matches away in a safe place.
Including All Participants
If a child is physically unable to light a candle and stand to address the group, ask the child to invite another child to light a candle for him/her or offer to do it yourself. Allow the child to speak joys and sorrows from where he/she is sitting.
ALTERNATE ACTIVITY 2: MAKING MAGIC WANDS (15 MINUTES)
Materials for Activity
Preparation for Activity
Description of Activity
Set wand-making materials on work tables.
Show the children the wand you have made. Invite them to make their own magic wands to use in Activity 5: If I had a Magic Wand and to take home to share with their families in the Taking it Home activities. If your session has time, you may like to use this hands-on activity to balance the sedentary activities in this session. While the children are making their wands, you may choose to ask them to share things they would do if they had a magic wand.
ALTERNATE ACTIVITY 3: ALL MY FRIENDS AND NEIGHBORS MAKE A DIFFERENCE (10 MINUTES)
Materials for Activity
Preparation for Activity
Description of Activity
Arrange the group so that everyone stands in front of a carpet square or a piece of paper or a book, or sits in a chair, with one person in the center who has no carpet square/paper/chair. Important rules to share before the game begins are that there are no running (fast walking is okay, if children don't bump one another), no pushing, and no shoving. If some children cannot abide by these rules they can take a seat on their chair or in their "spot" and simply watch the action.
Be the first player to stand in the center of the circle. Start the game with a simple statement, such as:
I want to meet my friends and neighbors who like (chocolate ice cream, peanut butter, lima bean, etc.).
Or:
I want to meet my friends and neighbors who have (birthdays in the spring, a cat, etc.).
Instruct all the children to whom the statement applies to rise and move to a different chair or space. Then help the next child left in the middle to make a general statement, such as:
I want to meet all of my friends and neighbors who (something that pertains to them)."
As soon as the children get the hang of the game you can tell them that they cannot change places with the person next to them in the circle.
Once you feel that the children have had some fun with general questions you can shift the focus to questions about specific to ways that they make a difference at home, at school and in the world. Find examples of these questions in Leader Resource 3, All My Friends and Neighbors — Making a Difference.
This game allows the children to release some energy and have fun, giving movement-oriented children a chance to participate with their strength. It helps children to see that they share similarities with many others in the group, not just their friends. They will also see that they are unique, having some differences from their friends, as well as those they don't know so well.
When the questions in this game focus children's attention on ways to make a difference, children are reminded of responsible things that they already do and hear about things some of their peers do. Substitute this exercise for the Gems of Goodness activity as framed in this session, if you want a more active way to elicit this information from the children.
Including All Participants
This active game can be adapted for children with limited mobility. Children can take turns being a "designated mover" for a child who cannot move quickly around the circle. The designated mover can stand in a spot on the circle just in front of the child with limited mobility and if the question posed was something that they could answer yes to the child with limited mobility behind them would tap them and they would move to another square or to the center. If they moved to the center then they would consult with the child they were moving for, who would give them a question. The child with limited mobility would not occupy a "space" but would sit behind it so that the space would be open for another child to jump into thus making them the new designated mover.
MORAL TALES: SESSION 12:
STORY 1: IT'S NOT MY PROBLEM
Adapted from a Thai folk tale.
Once upon a time, a queen sat on her balcony eating rice cakes and honey with her chief advisor. As they ate, they gazed down at the busy street below. The Queen pointed to something in the distance, and as she did a drop of honey from her rice cake landed on the balcony railing.
"My Queen, you have spilled a drop of honey," observed the advisor. "Shall I call a servant to come and clean it up?"
But the queen laughed, "A little drop of honey is... (Leader — Pause for a moment so the children know to join you.) ... NOT MY PROBLEM. Someone will clean it later."
They went on eating and talking as the drop of honey warmed in the sun and began to slowly drip down the side of railing until it landed in the street below with a plop!
"Your Highness," the advisor said, "that drop of honey has now fallen into the street, where it is attracting flies. Shouldn't we call a servant to come and clean it up?"
But again the queen yawned lazily and replied, "A little drop of honey and a few flies are... (Leader — Pause, so the children will join in.) ... NOT MY PROBLEM. Someone will deal with it later."
Soon a lizard darted out from underneath the palace wall and began to catch the flies on her tongue. Then a cat sprang from the baker's shop and began to bat the lizard back and forth like a toy. Just then a dog charged out from the butcher's shop and began to bite the cat on the neck.
"Your Highness, " the advisor implored, "now the flies have attracted a lizard, which attracted a cat, which is now being attacked by a dog. Shouldn't we call someone to stop the fight?"
But the Queen only stretched, and shook her head at her advisor, "Won't you relax. A silly animal fight is... (Leader — Pause, so the children will join in.) ... NOT MY PROBLEM. Someone will surely see to it."
In fact the baker did see to it. She saw the dog attacking her cat and ran out with her rolling pin and began to hit the dog. And then the butcher heard his dog howling and ran out with his broom and began to hit the cat. Soon the butcher and baker were hitting each other. Then the neighboring shopkeepers began to take sides, joining in the fight. Then some soldiers came along, but some knew the butcher and some knew the baker. So the soldiers, too, took sides and the
battle grew. It grew and grew until a great battle waged in the streets. People were throwing rocks through windows and tipping over the vendor carts. Someone picked up a torch from the wall and hurled it through a window. Fire raged, and eventually it spread to the palace.
The next thing they knew, the queen and her advisor were being escorted down a ladder from the balcony into the street below because the palace itself was in flames.
Later that day when the fire had died out, the queen and her advisor surveyed the ruins of their land. Suddenly the queen stopped in the street underneath where her balcony had been. She reached down and touched something in a small puddle on the ground. "It's honey," she said, remembering. "I guess I should have cleaned up that drop of honey in the first place. Now, my whole kingdom has been lost because of it."
That was the last day that the queen ever said… (Leader — Pause, so the children will join in.) …IT’S NOT MY PROBLEM!
MORAL TALES: SESSION 12:
HANDOUT 1: I MAKE A DIFFERENCE
I Made a Difference
This certificate is to honor the fact that
Name___________________________________________________________
Did something about the problem of:
He/she did the following:
We appreciate this act of caring, kindness and responsibility (add other traits that apply).
Signed:
Leader(s)_________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________
Parent(s)_________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________
MORAL TALES: SESSION 12:
LEADER RESOURCE 1: I MAKE A DIFFERENCE GRID
Problem | Small step | Small step | Small Step |
Global Warming | Turn out lights. | Recycle school papers. | Start recycling bin in class. |
Loneliness in nursing homes | Visit and bring cookies. | Visit and listen to residents' stories. | |
Bullying at school | Tell a teacher. | Ask the bullied child to play. | Tell the bully to stop. |
Homeless animals | Collect food or blankets for a shelter. | Visit the animals in a shelter. | |
MORAL TALES: SESSION 12:
LEADER RESOURCE 2: I MAKE A DIFFERENCE COMMITMENT TO ACT
"I Make a Difference"
Name_________________________________________
Is concerned about the following problem:
________________________________________________
He/she will to the following to make a difference:
___________________________________________
MORAL TALES: SESSION 12:
LEADER RESOURCE 3: ALL MY FRIENDS AND NEIGHBORS — MAKING A DIFFERENCE
Use these questions once the children have got the hang of the game. As you play, make your criteria for friends and neighbors more specific, and encourage children to be specific in their own suggested criteria. The more specific the criteria in this game, the more everyone will learn.
I want to meet my friends and neighbors who:
Help do the dishes
Make their beds
Recycle their drink bottles
Pick up litter
Help feed the pets
Take care of their clothes
Help with the laundry at home
Help teachers by doing errands in school
Help in school by cleaning up
Help an older relative
Help at a food pantry
Help collect food or gifts for those in need at holiday time
Take care of younger brothers or sisters
Take care of younger cousins or friends
MORAL TALES: SESSION 12:
LEADER RESOURCE 3: ALL MY FRIENDS AND NEIGHBORS — MAKING A DIFFERENCE
Use these questions once the children have got the hang of the game. As you play, make your criteria for friends and neighbors more specific, and encourage children to be specific in their own suggested criteria. The more specific the criteria in this game, the more everyone will learn.
I want to meet my friends and neighbors who:
Help do the dishes
Make their beds
Recycle their drink bottles
Pick up litter
Help feed the pets
Take care of their clothes
Help with the laundry at home
Help teachers by doing errands in school
Help in school by cleaning up
Help an older relative
Help at a food pantry
Help collect food or gifts for those in need at holiday time
Take care of younger brothers or sisters
Take care of younger cousins or friends
FIND OUT MORE
On the Character Counts website (at www.charactercounts.org/), published by the Josephson Institute of Ethics, find lesson plans and a cause-and-effect game.
Versions of the Burmese and Thai folk tale on which the story, "It's Not My Problem," is based appear in many books:
"Not Our Problem" in Margaret Read Macdonald's Peace Tales: World Folktales to Talk About (Linnet Books, 1992).
A Kingdom Lost for a Drop of Honey and Other Burmese Folktales by Maung Htin Aung and Helen G. Trager (Parents Magazine Press, 1968).
"The Drop of Honey," in Doorways to the Soul, edited by Elisa Pearmain (Pilgrim Press, 1998).
The Book of Virtues: A Treasury of Great Moral Stories by William Bennett, Jr. (New York: Simon and Schuster, 1993) includes a true story—similar in theme to the story, "It's Not My Problem"—in which England's King Richard III loses his kingdom because he would not wait to have his horse properly shod.
Other stories that illuminate responsibility and promote taking action to make a difference include "The Grasshopper and the Ant," an Aesop's Fable in many children's story collections; "The Little Red Hen," in many children's story collections; Why the Sky is Far Away: A Folktale from Nigeria by Mary-Joan Gerson (New York: Harcourt Brace Jovanovich, 1974); and Miss Rumphius by Barbara Cooney (New York: Viking Press, 1982), the story of how one woman planted lupine seeds and made the world a more beautiful place.
Small Steps for Children to Take
The Giraffe Project (at www.giraffe.org/)'s motto is "Nobis Es. It's up to us, so stick your neck out." Online, watch a video and read about some "giraffes"—people of all ages who stuck their necks out.
The Kids Caring 4 Kids Project (at www.kidscaring4kids.org/)website describes young people's efforts to help other children who are AIDS orphans.
Earth Book for Kids: Activities to Help Heal the Environment by Linda Schwartz (Learning Works, 1990); What Can I Do? An Alphabet for Living by Lisa Harrow (White River Junction, Vermont: Chelsea Green Publishing, 2004); and 50 Simple Things Kids Can Do to Save the Earth by The EarthWorks Group (LLC Andrews McMeel Publishing, 1990) are some of many resource books that include specific environmental actions children, and families, can do.